Today, after being admitted to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain, my boyfriend shouted out in front of my parents, "At least she isn't pregnant!" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML
Today, at 6 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER in the middle of the night for severe abdominal pain, fearing an ectopic pregnancy. Turns out it was just a wayward turd. FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came home, I was crying and told him I was pregnant. His immediate response was, "Awesome! Pregnant girls are always horny and we won't need protection for the next few months!" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
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Top comments
meelo88 13
Well at least he was clearing the air... Parents like honesty....
citymayer 7
Well, at least you aren't...
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Comments (118)
SkardeyKat 3
What's so bad about this? That's a good thing, at least you're not preggers. Your parents should be happy about that!
neonberries 15
I'm surprised this isn't an FML about your father killing your boyfriend.
Joey44 15
Another example today of people trying desperately to lighten the mood in potentially medically serious situations and just making things awkward. I think we've all learned that attempting a joke when a loved one is sick doesn't work out well. Man, this website contains so many life lessons.
teddyb1 4
That it does.....that it does
annafii 7
"Always check your umbrella before opening".
thephoenixlament 10
Hmmm....while your boyfriend's comment was awkward and unnecessary, if your parents finding out you were having sex was really an FML moment for you, I'd say you are probably too young and/or immature to be having sex. Unless of course your parents happen to be some of those crazies who prefer to bury their heads in the sand until you are well into your thirties, in which case, f your life indeed.
chemman5 12
maybe she is...
chemman5 12
maybe she is...
miZscrZee 0
LMAO. just telling the truth. Haha?
bitchwhore 20
Wrap it before you tap it?
Justice264 0
It would be a real fml if she was
ejones1991 0
Before you love her, wear a rubber?