Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, my daughter found out there was a vacant seat left in first class on our flight and damn if she didn’t pounce on the opportunity to get bumped up into it so fast, because she, “like, deserved a break.” She left me in economy class for a 10-hour flight with her 3 year old and 1 year-old with teething pain. FML
Today, I'd booked the cheapest seat on a long flight and ended up between a couple who spent the entire trip arguing through me instead of talking to each other, even after I offered to switch seats. By the end of the flight I probably knew more about their marriage than some of their relatives do. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML
Today, I was sat next to a screaming baby on a 9-hour flight. Now before anyone has a go at me, I am in no way blaming the baby, I’m blaming the mother with her makeup hair and nails done perfectly, with her AirPods on, staring at her phone, and ignoring her screaming child the full 9 hours. FML
Today, on a plane, a little kid was kicking the back of my son's chair. When the kid's mom went to the toilet, my son told this little kid, "If you kick my chair one more time, I’m going to kill your mom and you’ll never see her again." He stopped kicking but damn, what kind of son did I raise? FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
Today, at 17 years-old, I discovered how embarrassing it is to have your kid scream on a flight and how hard it is to calm them down. FML
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Top comments
BingleBop 18
Seems like she is a "******* brat" BEFORE flights. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh?
TotallyAradical 14
Oh hell no.
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Comments (160)
SteveOMcBeaveO 2
I would have said, "hey kid, you know all the good swear words yet? Let's start with ****! It's what your mom is!!!"
KaskStunter 4
This is where you spend the flight teaching the kid 5000 different ways to annoy its mother. I would start with "take a shit on the kitchen counter".
deemarie13 14
Well control ur kid and maybe he won't be a brat
SammiixSue 13
That is terrible parenting. That poor child.
runfromthedemon 5
he's a ******* kid probably mother ******* horrified. I swear ill never go on a plane at my current age imagine for a 8y old
chuckcloninger 12
That's what a stewardess is there for. Show her Exhibit A and tell her what the mother said to you. Then demand another seat and I'm sure you would have gotten one. Your bad for meekly sitting sitting there and letting it happen.
wolfbadger 2
This - find it hard to believe the airline would allow the parents to leave their child unattended in another random seat surely they have rules about children being supervised?
calivianya 29
Sounds like he learned from the best.
Wiitigo 1
Before the plane took off I would "help" the child cause such a disturbance the flight crew would have to have him removed. And when they came to ask the parent to leave with the child I 'd point at the mom.
Shade1982 21
Although I am unaware of the childs age, over here it is illegal to leave a child unattended. A parent or caretaker must be sitting next to him/her.
aZ8956 5
Try the ol' "I'm a paedo and not legally allowed within twenty feet of a minor" trick. If she's not buying that then tell her you'd be happy to babysit her son, but you charge $150 per hour.