Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
Today, I confidently walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment for a party, only to find a confused elderly couple staring at me. Turns out, I was not only three doors down from where I thought his front door was, I was also on the wrong floor. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Perhaps you should think about locking your door. And getting an alarm. And a dog. A big dog like a German shepherd, not a little dog like a chihuahua. No one likes those yappy little *****.
MeTheBeast 22
At least he had the decency to call you honey ;)
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Comments (97)
Euphrates 10
he is a gentleman of sorts!
fertilegod 3
why was your door unlocked?
EmmaMK 35
Sounds harmless enough. You need to enjoy having good neighbours.
photogodess 13
One guy was super drunk in Colorado, went to the wrong house (broke in cuz the key didn't work) and the ppl who owned the house shot and killed him. Very important to not be that drunk, plus you shouldn't drive either.... Glad everyone's okay and sorry that happend to you
omgitslian 6
YDI lock your doors. Luckily it was just a drunk neighbor, not someone worse.
edanielleh 21
it is 2 pm in the afternoon. i can saw that no body locks their doors in the day where i live.
WhiteCrimson 23
Rowdy neighbors, gotta luv em
DjSashaRoyal 9
you'll definitely be telling this story at a BBQ next summer.
jrock9093 18
At lest he introduced him self but I guess to much drinking could get you killed
joopjoop 19
good thing he wasn't an angry drunk! at least he said nice things