Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML
Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML
Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML
Today, my right testicle popped out during gym class while we were running laps. The teacher saw it and said, “Put that away! There aren’t any balls involved in this activity!” FML
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Top comments
Zapzip2013 0
in soviet Russia balls have you.
ifinishlast 0
YDI for having a 12 year old gf
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Comments (140)
nom_nom_nom 0
How old is your girlfriend? 12? Jesus, it sounds like she's still pre-pubescent.
skyeyez9 25
if they are not "maintained" they are gross: big old hairy bush all over balls=gross. nicely shaven balls=balls getting licked and sucked on by your gf.
geekplaya 0
it was talking about having one ******** not ******** hygiene
cmonbru 0
are u a boy or a girl... im serious
MiniatureMayhem 0
Well, balls are kinda gross.
ragsy 7
I love balls!
SkateBoarding 4
The sad part is ur a guy
moopsy234 0
lmfo!!!!!! at least u don't have to worry about her hitiing u in ze balls!!!! 8=D~~~
VacuumNinja 0
You mean o===D , right?
assiram317 0
hahahahahaha cleaverrrr!
authorkid 2
lol that took me a min to figure out
cmac86 24
i guess someone is a lesbian. ha ha. it's kinda funny (her not you).
magichateball 0
does a guy with one ball have two strikes against him?
arielhoee 9
Haha. @mistercoffee, she probably just thought yours was too small, so she didn't even want to bother with it. (:
Bloodknight 22
That may be her opinion, but atleast she didn't freak out about it. So far, she seems like a keeper.
FoundManyLemons 0
You might want to start looking for a new girlfriend.