By poncho55 - 21/02/2015 20:28

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 633
You deserved it 4 487

poncho55 tells us more.

No worries, he's okay now. :) Later on in the day, he laughed about it and thought it was pretty hilarious, which is good because I felt pretty bad about biting him.

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Oh no, your poor husband!

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My dad once punched my mom in his sleep. But it was for a much stupider reason than a mugging...

My dad used to watch wrestling before bed. Well needless to say he put mom in a headlock while sleeping.

That sounds more like a FML for him.

at least you can protect yourself

Yeah I once saved the world in a dream, so I'm pretty sure if need be I could do it again in real life.

We will call upon you in times of crisis, ADHD Dude. When the world is in peril, guide us to safety.

Not really that hard to protect yourself from a sleeping person

Tell that to her husband.

In my dreams I can't even scream, let alone defend myself :(

At least you know you can defend yourself if need be.

#5 From dream muggers!

If you actually want to defend yourself, look into firearms.

#28: STFU and take some advice from Jim Jeffries. http://youtu.be/fP3HJVp3n9c

Let's play "Find the Liberal!"

Why would your reaction be to bite when being mugged?

You're right, OP should just allow herself to be mugged and do nothing about it.

It was a dream #6.

#6 Human jaw is actually very strong. A person can bite off a person's finger with the same amount of force they use to bite a carrot. So biting is a useful tool.

That's false, #23. A carrot is incredibly easy to bite through. If you bit a finger with the same force you would use to bite a carrot, you wouldn't even break the skin. And yeah, while it is possible to bite a finger off, it's hard to do. Can you bite a chicken wing in half? Because finger bones are stronger than they are. Plus, even if you managed to bite through the bone, there's still the skin, muscle and tendon to go through, all of which are very elastic and hard to bite through. Sorry. Just sick of hearing the "you can bite through a finger as easily as a carrot" myth.

Btw biting is a human skill not a tool lol

Actually you can do it. but you have to bite in between the joints. Not exactly an easy thing to do whilst being mugged but theoretically possible.

#47 actually it is true, except our brain stops of from doing so naturally because, well, ew. But I read it in my anatomy book while taking my massage therapy course.

You can definitely bite a chicken wing in half. When my boyfriend was drunk he ate boneless chicken wings. Except they weren't boneless. His friend came back to him at the bar and asked where the bones went. Lol. He ate them. So it's VERY possible.

Oh no! What part did you bite?

Bit it straight off

Well, if it was a finger she bit straight off, it can join the one I've got waiting and waiting for biohazardous waste pickup.

unless she ate it

i guess that was a BIT of a mistake

I dont think my first reaction would be to BITE someone. if you draw blood you can get all kinds of nasty things.

Oh no, your poor husband!

No worries, he's okay now. :) Later on in the day, he laughed about it and thought it was pretty hilarious, which is good because I felt pretty bad about biting him.

I'm pretty sure if I had done something similar to mine he would make Hannibal jokes at me all day.

Relationship goals right there

Parasomnia. Google it

I did the same thing to my fiancé when i slept over at his house one night. He mostly forgot it but when he remembers he jokes about to make me blush cause i still get embarrassed by it

He secretly liked it