By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Talk about not getting the picture…

Today, I finally worked up the courage to break up with my boyfriend. His parents weren't able to pick him up for 5 hours. I ended up taking him to a movie to kill time and end on a positive note, but now he thinks we're cool and back on track. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6366

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Love

Rock, hard place

How's your hovel?

Dog whisperer

By Anonymous - United States - American Canyon

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

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40584

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7364

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40302

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3687

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By ohdang - United States

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

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43256

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12833

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By FitnessFirst - Canada - Toronto

Today, I painfully watched my doctor burn a hole in my nail to drain the blood underneath. This is the prescribed treatment for the injury of hammering your thumb. FML

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20057

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3254

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By - 28/1/2020 18:00

So romantic!

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

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3150

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253

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML

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42502

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3454

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By PoorGal - United States - New Orleans

Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25878

You deserved it

5748

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By Her - Canada - Montr?al

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 months told me he doesn't know how he feels about me because he's not excited when we meet and doesn't miss me when we don't text for a while. He decides to tell me this while we're laying in bed right after having sex for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12856

You deserved it

1170

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By Skoff - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML

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26017

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2913

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

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33043

You deserved it

2616

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By great 1st impression - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

52644

You deserved it

7851

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

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43830

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5346

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By Fatty - Canada

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43139

You deserved it

16023

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By Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47069

You deserved it

5460

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By poop

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44790

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6596

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By TooNoisy4Me - United States - Bellerose

Today, like every year, my next-door neighbors started setting off their fireworks at exactly midnight. Also, like every year, the sensitive car alarm belonging to another neighbor has gone off with every firework. It's been almost six hours of nonstop alarms and explosions. FML

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13639

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1104

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did I wouldn't have hired you." FML

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62493

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By wtfdaughter - Brazil - Recife

Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML

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34432

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4805

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Broseley

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18638

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1527

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By OwMyBalls

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

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35925

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6447

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

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34364

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4549

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By Anonymous - 14/4/2020 20:00

Big Brother

Today, I was accused of "spying too much" on what my coworkers are writing about Covid-19 on the news site I work for. I'm one of the supervisors. FML

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1453

You deserved it

152

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By blck - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25571

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3897

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By caswell 1 - United States

Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML

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43415

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13163

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML

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39100

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7812

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By stuff - United States

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

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43573

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6278

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By unknown

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33512

You deserved it

5941

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By Anonymous - Ghana - Accra

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

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36572

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20768

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By Mr Hawks - France

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

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23563

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By sadgf - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML

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54613

You deserved it

6096

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By bonnmo - United States

Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2893

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275

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By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31229

You deserved it

1843

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By LonelyOtter

Today, one of my female friends decided she wants a relationship with my ex. I told her I was fine with it because we've been apart for years and have been friends ever since. She then made him chose between being friends with me and having her as a girlfriend. I just lost two of my few friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3294

You deserved it

237

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By wtf - United States

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" Um, what? FML

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28496

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3593

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49970

You deserved it

17541

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By kay_jay1819 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16892

You deserved it

33241

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By Anonymous - Ireland

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36619

You deserved it

6506

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By fububc - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31724

You deserved it

6401

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By lauramarie - Canada

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27465

You deserved it

15537

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been trying to get back together with, texted me. He asked me how life was going, he then asked me if I had the naked picture of him saved on my phone. I asked him why. He replied that he wanted to send it to his crush. FML

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31052

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Top comments

By OhPuhleeze | 23

#7418297 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 2:13

Is your "boyfriend" 12? Why couldn't you just leave him? He needs his parents to be picked up and was distracted enough by the movie. If you'd gotten him a Happy Meal he probably would've thought you guys are married.

By cornelius74d | 13

#7418299 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 2:17

Why wouldn't you just drive him home? Surely that would have taken less than 5 hours. Or... make him walk.

COMMENTS

By OhPuhleeze | 23

#7418297 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 2:13

DraconicFeline | 31

#7418750 - Thursday 2 March 2017 0:19

They're probably still in high school and haven't gotten their licenses yet. It's not that unrealistic a scenario.

By cornelius74d | 13

#7418299 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 2:17

Why wouldn't you just drive him home? Surely that would have taken less than 5 hours. Or... make him walk.

Aethereal | 14

#7418305 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 2:38

Maybe they are 15 and can't drive, let alone own cars?

Walking or public transport might not be an option if he lives far and/or in a place with little to no public transport.

By ZiGgY576 | 20

#7418313 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 3:04

I don't see why you couldn't have clarified this with him when you found out that'd what he thought

By jcash52426 | 5

#7418314 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 3:11

That sucks but it sound like he you 2 are better off just being friends.

By RinoaHeartilly | 36

#7418338 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 5:25

Shut it down now!

By Katie Kat | 8

#7418394 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 8:53

why didn't you just take him home yourself?

HelloItsMee123 | 5

#7420842 - Monday 6 March 2017 1:47

Well obviously she doesn't drive?

By rekijan | 6

#7418395 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 8:53

Well to be fair it does seem like he was getting mixed messages. But then again I can only see the tiny titbit of text you posted not the entire day.

By sporty061200r | 8

#7418437 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 11:36

The movie theater blow job just gave him mixed signals, no wonder he thinks your back on track

By sasquatchius | 3

#7418453 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 12:28

Protip: Don't break up with your partner then spend 5 hours with them.

By iseebearbears | 27

#7418600 - Wednesday 1 March 2017 19:00

This sounds like an illegal relationship.