Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML
Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
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Top comments
lolol182 4
ahahahahaha reminds me of the one where the girl said "forgive me lord!" when she came
Socrates_fml 0
how did you answer/what happened?
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Comments (414)
Maximus16 0
jaja what did u say back?
jrod_fml 0
What? She went that far to prove that YOU were a sinner? ****.
sabbs 0
LOL
IMz0r 0
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you..." Ah, and #226 is right. This is a joke, albeit a twisted one.
XxXBiZZoXxX 0
id have been like depends on if ur going to keep going or not
furrylala 0
LOL wtf..........
fprater 0
ROTFL X 100000 sry....that's phucked up and i usually NEVERY COMMENT on anything but this one i couldn't resist....what esle happened?? I.MUST.KNOW.
Redweezl 0
I bet you turned religious if you werent! hahaha
fmylife1016 0
Bahahahaah. lmao!
xhopefulsecretx 0
You should have shook your head and said, "**** Jesus." See where that got you.