Today, it's my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears, and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as usual, my period cramps got go bad that I can't eat or drink without taking a pain killer, and end up puking and passing out if I take a pain killer before I eat. Here's to 30 smooth years yet to come. FML
Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML
Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML
Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML
Today, for the first time in years, my period is early. I woke up at 5 a.m. with the worst cramps I've ever had in my life. Medicine isn't helping. It's literally so bad I feel like I want to throw up. It's fucking Christmas but hey, it wouldn't be 2022 if my garbage pile of a body wasn't ruining something for me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML
Today, I’m spending my 21st birthday in the hospital getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML
Today, I started my period and have cramps that came from the hottest part of hell. I also have to go to work so that I don’t lose my holiday pay. Happy New Year to me. FML
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Top comments
ultravioletbaby 0
Oh honey, I know exactly how you feel. I get them worse than anyone I know. Feel better. =[
Mabel1989 0
Oh goodness, I've had my period (with crippling cramps and nausea) on my birthday pretty much every year since I got my period. It's hell. I know how you feel...it does suck. Oh and #3...I think she means the first day of THIS particular period.
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Comments (331)
Emico_fml 0
#3 - She said "first day" of her period, not "first period."
whatever234 0
Just get drunk!
dreamweaver1227 11
That'll make her forget the pain, for sure.
paintedlove 1
lol, #6 (: ahah, well, think of it this way, you aren't pregnant on your 21st birthday. :D
nikkimomo 0
Oh no! I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know how that feels. But look on the bright side... at least it wasn't your wedding night. To #1 - Her life is still ******. Nature ****** her. To #3 - I believe she meant it was the first day that her period started THAT MONTH... not her first period EVER. =]
maddierox13 0
not to go all gym teacher on you (im not one btw). but excersising deffenitly helps crams to go away. just go for a walk and stop moping. p.s: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!
suprisebitch 20
I understand that exercise helps, but there's no reason for you say "stop moping". I've had pain so bad that I literally can't get out of bed, it would hurt to even roll over to the other side. Everyone's period pains are different.
mf_fml 0
drink the cramps away.
Tria 0
I can pwn you on that one... I spent my 21st in a youth hostel vomiting my guts out without aid of alcohol - had a killer migraine AND had managed to catch a stomach bug, which meant I couldn't keep my anti-migraine pills or painkillers down. I'd been supposed to be going to see a musical in the West End. Not a chance of THAT happening when I couldn't stand light or sound!
Vert90 11
I want you to make an FML about this :P
tolkienfanatic 0
Suck it up.
prettyboy82 0
Sorry it's your birthday and cramps suck big time, but so what if you can't go get BOMBED on your 21st birthday, life goes one!
vee_baby 0
Wow.. This is easily the most retarded FML that I have ever read. I got my period an hour before graduation and had to wear a white gown.. I don't consider it an FML, though, because nearly every girl experiences it every 28-35 days.. So, suck it up, buy a heating pad and happy birthday.
MissCharlotte_fml 26
Im sure you have a light flow and have not expirienced paralyzing cramps. So kindly shut the **** up or show some sympathy.