Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
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Top comments
Blink_me26 21
Ouch. Maybe save your kink for further down the track OP :P
Welshite 40
Well you might have taken your inspiration too far, given your nickname. Clawing is a special skill that shouldn't be abused. Maybe try a scratching post next time.
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Comments (92)
SunTzu2 9
You are kidding!! A scratched back is one of the ultimate trophies. He's obviously lacking in not only my opinion
snapdragon1100 7
I bet you didn't hurt him as bad as he played off. Most guys like it though so bring it out when things are really hot and steamy. :?
Not_Impressed13 9
Perhaps he didn't like being marked as yours?
Good_old_Grim 8
So... how many stiches? Did he pass out from blood loss until the ambulance arrived? Because otherwise he is just a giant pussy.
ToxxicNeko 12
That's bs. He could have a low pain tolerance. Just because he is a guy doesn't mean he has to have a high pain tolerance.
soccer3662 5
Yo boyfriend a sissy
askagimp 5
me too
jrn 14
1, 2, Freddy's coming for you...
Zaketh2112 10
Actually sounds like Freddy didn't cum ;)
jrn 14
Probably was shocking cuz he was caught of guard....idk about him, but I get goose bumps on my back & get ticklish...so maybe his skin was just sensitive? Idk....but...that's a bit much
jamal0000007 4
Maybe your bf is more of a girl then you are
Bronze_ace 13
What a puss, I love it when my wife claws me :p