Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hadesas 0
Tell her gtfo then
ICATiger 13
Tell her her vegtables are contaminating your meat.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (185)
kalcountry 0
i dont understand vegetarianism. scratch that. i hate the thought of vegetarianism. animals are on earth for a reason: to put them on a bbq
BigKatt 1
That's why u wear a condom. Then you can put your meat in anyone's fridge with worrying about contamination.
kalcountry 0
damn vegetarians
Stormmm 6
Tell HER to get a mini fridge. Vegetarians are so demanding. Sheesh.
KazuTrumpet1512 21
Vegetarians have a right to be vegetarian, but they do not have a right to force that upon someone else.
shitwit2234 0
Your gonna stick your schlong in the fridge and contaminate her food?
ceepevoy 0
she sounds a little bit extreme
rahrah765765 11
Shes obviously a cold bitch- she can refrigerate her vegetables in her own meat.
jasonpatel03 0
Wow tell the b**** to get her own fridge then. I'm vegetarian too but don't really make an issue out of it.
somewhatlucky 1
every second a plant is killed all because of a vegetarian. A moment of silence for every fruit and vegetable affected.