Intimacy, Sex, Relatable, Awkward and Breastfeeding: Momma's gotta have it - FML

Momma's gotta have it

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, after giving birth, my wife was put on the sex ban until she heals. The thing is she has a high sex drive and is now horny, cranky, while also post surgery and also breastfeeding. I try to sexually satisfy her in other ways, but she's a nightmare to be with until we can have full sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 420

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Same thing different taste

My husband the shitgibbon

By NotYetThanks - 23/07/2021 00:01

Spicy

Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 192

Bad timing, hun

By Anonymous - 19/01/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 178

Better luck next time

By Anonymous - 16/07/2019 14:30

Spicy

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 227

You deserved it 334

Just can't get enough

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 231

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 19/03/2019 06:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 608

You deserved it 259

Mystery shutdown

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 157

Romance isn't dead

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, it's been six months since I gave birth, and no matter how many times we've tried, my post baby body just doesn’t arouse my husband anymore. We still love each other, but for him to get a boner these days he has to watch a few minutes of porn first then keep his eyes closed during sex so he doesn’t go soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 208

Baby fever

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 18:00

Spicy

Today, my wife wanted sex, but dropped the bomb that she wants another baby, because our other kids are grown up now. This ruined the sexy vibe we had going and now she’s mad at me for not wanting sex, and for not wanting another baby when we barely survived parenting the other three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 191

Tricky situation

By fml9124 - 08/10/2020 10:01 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, my wife gave me the green light to have sex with other women. She beat the cancer, but sex for her is now painful and she wasn't really interested in sex the last 10 years anyway. So why does my life suck? Because I don't want sex with anyone else. Now she's mad at me for making her feel guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 225

Next

Top comments

legalgravethief 8

Monday 11 April 2022 14:08

Yup every man here is now jealous

protoskore 27

Tuesday 12 April 2022 8:36

I'm thinking this will be your only child

Comments

GlennQugmire 14

Monday 11 April 2022 11:40

Maybe the rear doors can help a little bit

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 12 April 2022 3:40

Giggity...I'll show myself out.

legalgravethief 8

Monday 11 April 2022 14:08

Yup every man here is now jealous

Hangryko 31

Monday 11 April 2022 18:51

Surely you both foresaw this happening. YDI.

protoskore 27

Tuesday 12 April 2022 8:36

I'm thinking this will be your only child

SirEnigM0nk 22

Wednesday 13 April 2022 5:47

Hopefully.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Awkward My ex Music Love AITA Cheating Furniture Kids Introverts Cute Pregnancy Health Healthy Lifestyle Weird Food Sextoys Intimacy Delivery Social Media Animals Cats Relatable Stuck Annoying Work Dogs Gross Embarrassing Toilet

The Top

Today, when I woke up, I quickly pulled the bed sheet with my right arm to get out of the bed. I failed to notice that a big portion of the sheet was pinned under my body. My arm dislocated and I fainted because of the pain. Great way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 834

You deserved it 731

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 521

You deserved it 2 925

The Top

Today, I was haunted by the knowledge that my father watched me slit my wrists without doing a damn thing or batting an eyelid, but when I took the steak knife to the breadboard to release my tension, he was so upset, he took the dog, drove to the east coast, and spent the night in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 717

Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 353

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 215

You deserved it 448

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years got down on one knee and asked those words all girls love to hear, "Would you do me the honor of performing fellatio on me?" with a Lifesavers gummy ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 081

You deserved it 428

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 901

You deserved it 6 119

Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 872