Intimacy, Sex, Relatable, Awkward and Breastfeeding: Momma's gotta have it - FML

Momma's gotta have it

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, after giving birth, my wife was put on the sex ban until she heals. The thing is she has a high sex drive and is now horny, cranky, while also post surgery and also breastfeeding. I try to sexually satisfy her in other ways, but she's a nightmare to be with until we can have full sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 402

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

My husband the shitgibbon

By NotYetThanks - 23/07/2021 00:01

Spicy

Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 169

Bad timing, hun

By Anonymous - 19/01/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 170

Better luck next time

By Anonymous - 16/07/2019 14:30

Spicy

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 307

Just can't get enough

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 214

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 19/03/2019 06:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 572

You deserved it 239

Romance isn't dead

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, it's been six months since I gave birth, and no matter how many times we've tried, my post baby body just doesn’t arouse my husband anymore. We still love each other, but for him to get a boner these days he has to watch a few minutes of porn first then keep his eyes closed during sex so he doesn’t go soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 181

Baby fever

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 18:00

Spicy

Today, my wife wanted sex, but dropped the bomb that she wants another baby, because our other kids are grown up now. This ruined the sexy vibe we had going and now she’s mad at me for not wanting sex, and for not wanting another baby when we barely survived parenting the other three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 186

Tricky situation

By fml9124 - 08/10/2020 10:01 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, my wife gave me the green light to have sex with other women. She beat the cancer, but sex for her is now painful and she wasn't really interested in sex the last 10 years anyway. So why does my life suck? Because I don't want sex with anyone else. Now she's mad at me for making her feel guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 211

Big baby

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, my husband said sex is too weird because I'm pregnant with our first baby. He gets very grumpy without sex. I'm very horny with hormones. Only 6 more months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 213

Next

Top comments

legalgravethief 8

Monday 11 April 2022 14:08

Yup every man here is now jealous

protoskore 27

Tuesday 12 April 2022 8:36

I'm thinking this will be your only child

Comments

GlennQugmire 14

Monday 11 April 2022 11:40

Maybe the rear doors can help a little bit

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 12 April 2022 3:40

Giggity...I'll show myself out.

legalgravethief 8

Monday 11 April 2022 14:08

Yup every man here is now jealous

Hangryko 29

Monday 11 April 2022 18:51

Surely you both foresaw this happening. YDI.

protoskore 27

Tuesday 12 April 2022 8:36

I'm thinking this will be your only child

SirEnigM0nk 22

Wednesday 13 April 2022 5:47

Hopefully.

Keywords

Love Awkward Relatable Students Work Racism Health Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Jealousy Social Media

The Top

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 218

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 76

The Top

Ever get that sinking feeling?

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 204

Today, I was complimented by my guests about the great of service I was giving them. They then left me a $2 tip on a $50 tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 339

You deserved it 1 205

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 460

You deserved it 66 261

Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 1 877

Today, I realized I'm in love with both my boyfriend of several years as well with a guy I recently met, meaning I'm polyamorous (which I always kinda knew). The problem is I don't want to leave my current boyfriend, and I really want to be with the new guy, but both situations are incompatible, which is making me miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 134

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 691

You deserved it 6 306