Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML
Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I was home alone in the dark and I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it was so I didn't answer. They kept ringing, so I got a bit scared and called the police. When the police showed up, they told me it was a Chinese delivery guy with the wrong address. FML
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Top comments
Aim4thebullseye 4
Shit you got pizza why you mad?
cumverg 0
The joke is old, grandpa
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Comments (138)
peeytonef 0
what was in your basement
doglover339 4
so what were the noises in the basement??
qbstar 0
who the **** cares.
metalguy95 11
only in America
Xolani02 4
First of all, all of these "Only in America" comments are kinda pissing me off. Second what if the pizza place was really close to op's house, and the police station was far away from op's house.
HunterAlpha1 8
i concur on the "only in America" comments. if i recall, police response is even worse in most of the rest of the world than it is in the US.
lunax_fml 14
Going to have to agree with that. I asked my mother once what the equivalent of "911" in her country was. She laughed hysterically for 5 minutes straight at the notion that cops would even bother to come if you called them about an emergency.
RainbowzSkittlez 6
....And you were too scared to take a second and go look in the basement?
flowerchild42 1
the cops have better things to do then check noises in your basement. for all you know they were dealing with a murder. suck it up be a man and get a baseball bat/ gun!!!
SorrowFull 8
The noise from downstairs was really a bout of diarrhea. When the shit went down the OP wasn't ready.
kibbs20 0
if i was a cop i would never come to report on a " scary noise" grow up pussy
plippoo 5
well guess your police service is free now