Alcohol and Health: Regular boozehound

Regular boozehound

By Matchtopia - 18/01/2012 00:21 - United States

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 265

You deserved it 30 223

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Same thing different taste

By alchy - 02/05/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 971

You deserved it 36 247

Office embarrassment

By mog - 07/11/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 874

By anon - 09/09/2013 21:51

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 205

You deserved it 19 580

By Cpt_Concerned - 22/09/2009 04:37 - Canada

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 426

You deserved it 52 580

By Marty - 10/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Irving

Today, I bought a small bottle of liquor to share with my husband to celebrate our move. It took three hours at the store as the cashier, manager, GM, and a police officer checked my ID believing it was fake. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 175

You deserved it 304

By Anonymous - 12/12/2015 04:12 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 838

You deserved it 1 733

GIVE ME BOOZE, NOW!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 22:01

Today, I got a change of ID. My old ID had its corner cut off and was given a temporary paper ID. I went to a bar in another town to have some drinks. Turns out I couldn't because they couldn't use my old ID or my temporary one to let me drink, even though I'm 22. I've been there before and I work at my town's liquor store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 158

By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 09:07 - United States

Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 756

You deserved it 3 941

Who are you?

By mynameisnotstupid - 18/03/2016 15:05 - Germany - Munich

Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer berated me for using a fake name. He said my name is "too stupid" to be real and that no sane person would ever use it. It was my real name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 571

You deserved it 1 362

By Anonymous - 23/07/2012 20:45 - United States - Clay City

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 840

You deserved it 60 785

MisterDoctor 12

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:46

So why does he still ID you?

heathz 9

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:44

Not a red flag at all

Comments

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:54

Honestly I don't see a problem. Some people just are good with names.

ICATiger 13

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:58

OP uses ID. ID is unaffective

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:00

It's times like these I wish my last name was 'president'. "oh hello, mr. President. Will that be the usual hypnotic?"

Grifballa 1

Friday 3 February 2012 4:42

I am changing my last name to that

afulks78 11

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:08

U know your an alcoholic when ...

jacob4592 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:15

Long as your driving!

GoW_Chick 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:18

Alcoholics are a liquor store owner's best friend, they always come back...

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:43

They don't even need to be fed. They're fine with just a bit to drink.

onlychildFTW 33

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:20

If you are going to drink THAT much then you should change stores do the staff won't remember you. Thats just weird and awkward.

ladyLALAA 28

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:24

If you're really that regular you should hit the clerk up for a loyalty card, buy 9 bottles of vodka 10th is free!

miadolcevita 6

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:25

hahaha winning.

rogue2888 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:26

What's wrong with that? Bottoms up mate

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The Top

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 318

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 596

You deserved it 7 907

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 095

You deserved it 3 107

Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 4 084

Today, I broke a bolt on my minivan trying to fix the timing belt myself to save money. I spent about 300 dollars in parts. I took the van to the shop and the total to fix it is going to be 1200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 990

Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 7 833

Today, my wife let two Jehovah's Witnesses in for a chat, then deliberately went to a neighbour's for "Two minutes," and left me with them for half-an-hour, with them refusing to take my hints to leave. In the end, I told them to fuck off, just as the wife arrived home, and she got mad at me for being rude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 218