Today, I got a new kitten. He's orange, and definitely fits the stereotypes. I've already had to stop him from killing himself or otherwise getting into dangerous areas four times. I can't leave him alone for more than five seconds. Please tell me this is not a sign of the times to come. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the kitten I adopted months ago either has serious attachment issues or the worst case of Stockholm syndrome I've ever seen. Only I can get near him, he can't stand us being over 5 feet apart, he meows until I let him into the bathroom with me, and I feel like a jerk for disliking it. I need space. FML
Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML
Today, do you know those stories of kittens running up to you in public and choosing you as their human, so you get them vet treatment, hand raise them yourself and they love you forever? Yeah, not with mine. He’s one year old now and a total asshole who bites me at least once a day. FML
Today, my cat has always been rather antisocial, but after his first trip to the vet since getting fixed, he's become talkative, clingy, and goofy. I'd enjoy it, if not for the fact that he's nearly hurt himself several times because he keeps doing stupid shit. He might need to go back to the vet at this rate. FML
Today, I got a new cat. He's outrageously clingy. Like, "extremely unhealthy obsession with me" clingy. I just wanted an emotional support animal, but it looks like I have become an emotional support animal instead. I feel terrible for trying to get him to not want to be with me all the time. FML
Today, we got a new kitten, and my older cat is not happy. I just learned that my fiance doesn't interfere when they fight. He says watching my old fat cat chase the kitten is the funniest thing he's seen all month. FML
Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML
Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML
Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FluffythePink 24
You knew what you were looking at when you saw the colour. Now you are Joining The Club. Welcome. Every time you want to face palm your brain at him, I had a ginger female with brain damage and epilepsy. She lasted to about 22 and you couldn't leave any paint or moisturiser open or she'd eat it... Among many, many other things. You'll be fine. Exhausted, bewildered and occasionally astounded but he'll be one of the best chapters of your life.
Nakomai 17
All orange cats share one collective brain cell.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
Nakomai 17
All orange cats share one collective brain cell.
FluffythePink 24
You knew what you were looking at when you saw the colour. Now you are Joining The Club. Welcome. Every time you want to face palm your brain at him, I had a ginger female with brain damage and epilepsy. She lasted to about 22 and you couldn't leave any paint or moisturiser open or she'd eat it... Among many, many other things. You'll be fine. Exhausted, bewildered and occasionally astounded but he'll be one of the best chapters of your life.
tiptoppc 21
My cats lick plastic bags, runs off with Q-Tips, sleeps on my legs (i have ptsd and nightmares) forcing the ragdoll one to involuntarily join the Castronaut program followed by going limp, hitting the walls and slamming to the floor, as well as another that licks windows and soda cans. Your cat will be fine. Mine are living quite long, and that’s half the crap they do. Just do your best, pick your battles and do training. You can’t force them to not be dumb as a rock, but determent is what you strive for.
great_nate 26
Kitten life.