Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me, talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "So… does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ilg4evr 0
What's the point of those toys? That's retarded. And it's pretty obvious what you meant; when I read this, I knew you were talking about the toy. You'd say you already "had one," not "had one of those." FYL cause you have an idiot friend
my_fml_account 2
Just remember to give it plenty of water and sunlight, and soon you too will have a boyfriend!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (32)
OlonixBAMF 0
scottitup has one of those!
lifeislife_fml 0
I hate it when people make huuuge scenes out of little things (like friends supposedly having boyfriends) in public.
cheetahboo2010 5
Umm it's not a TOTAL shame not to have a boyfriend, definitely not worth making it as an FML.
ik_im_not_funny 0
most girls wish they could make their boy friends grow. more so in asian men specifically
rinzlerkitty94 31
Apparently you don't know much about vaginas. After 4 inches, we can't really feel it anymore. Asian men are perfectly capable of satisfying me, and they have.
gargoyle666 5
You're in Kansas and don't have a boyfriend? What's the matter, not have any brothers?
CaeliLady 0
Kansas is not a Southern state. Get your stereotypes correct, dude.
teiso_fml 0
If it makes you feel any better, I've never had a boyfriend, either, and I couldn't care less whether people think I'm late for it or not. Do your own thing, on your own time, screw everyone else.
aremymind 0
I hoped you where going to make a giant penis joke but that wouldn't be an FML
sjmrawr 0
One of my friends bought me a "grow your own boyfriend" for my birthday one year. She said it was so I would stop dating so many real ones and leave some for everyone else.
Blackpuppy15 0
what is a grow your own boyfriend toy? I have lived a sheltered life
ckrider64 8
is that a type of *****?