Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to leave, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said, "Have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML
Today, at work as a cashier, a guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said, "Oh shit, I forgot my wallet!" and walked off. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML
Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML
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Top comments
jarofarts 0
lol who DOES that?
notsodelighted 0
ahahah, that's HILARIOUS!!
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Comments (164)
Mattyknows 0
What a douche
El_Oh_El 0
Lawl. Next time, check what's in your pocket early.
secretish 0
Well your misfortune made me laugh!
nodbor 11
i'd be t'd off too.
AntiChrist7 0
never do something for free by rich people. YDI
0 3
Okay now that this old joke is on the site NO ONE ELSE can post it. Eventually we will run through every old joke and be done with it.
maddog_fml 0
Haha LOL @#52 that would be nasty. I agree with #97 : those greedy MFs!!
Saralaise 3
ahahah this was great. first laugh of the day.
Jem0_0 0
Hahahaha double entendres
Graham1 0
HAHAHAHA that was brilliant, hardly FML material......but funny none the less. much lulz