Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me, "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?" I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, to which he responded, "No, probably not." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, while at a party, my extremely drunk crush came up to me and told me she had a crush on me. She then wanted to have sex with me while drunk, but since she was under the influence, I didn't. Later, when I told her about it, she say denied the fact that she likes me. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
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Top comments
hurr 0
I'm just guessing that he was kidding -- no man is stupid enough to say that BEFORE he gets laid, drunk or not.
emilypancakes 0
you better not have slept with him after that.
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Comments (33)
jsmith1199 4
why should we care? you're disgusting for ******* random people, and you probably have to sleep with random people to gain self esteem because you're a disgusting *****. Which is probably why he wouldnt have sex with you unless he was drunk.
tk1235 0
lmfao
Cian_1 28
Wow, you're so up your own arse.
kile88 2
ydi for being a slurry
ghost010 6
to alcohol! helping fat chicks get laid for a fifty years.
iownyou777 0
my thoughts exactly
sovietkiwi 0
I bet she didn't though
sovietkiwi 0
I bet she didn't though
littlebluepill 1
Ydi for saying panties
sammyjo06 14
So did you guys continue?
Stryker_13 19
Please tell me you didn't sleep with the drunk womanizer! That's the time where you get up and leave...unless you haven't got any in a while..but even then no!