Kids: Not now!

Not now!

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 387

You deserved it 3 847

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By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 805

You deserved it 2 550

All my fault

By streaker? - 27/11/2015 14:21 - Germany - Langenhagen

Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 256

You deserved it 2 026

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 370

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 747

You deserved it 14 091

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 077

You deserved it 2 619

By unemployed - 10/03/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 840

You deserved it 7 471

By Herdad - 30/07/2009 11:34 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 039

You deserved it 3 693

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 04:44 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 457

You deserved it 7 173

By Lydlsis - 30/10/2015 23:53 - United States

Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 745

You deserved it 4 621

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 952

You deserved it 7 429

XRiseToFallAgain 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 12:37

Why do FML's like these always involve kid's dumb word being more trusted than the actual explanation from the adult?

null_fml 11

Sunday 20 September 2009 12:12

Well, she's right... you can't.

Comments

SickToDeath 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 23:28

a perfect example of retard-ism #67 anyway, lolz. luv this fml!!!

haterofreality 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 12:18

I think it was kinda cute of her, she's only 3 remember the show Kids say the Darnest things? she would be perfect

2gether4ever 0

Friday 12 March 2010 4:47

aha, that kid is going far. =P

dickster 0

Tuesday 29 June 2010 9:11

that's a moment where I would have slapped the child

jannie22 0

Monday 23 May 2011 2:10

spanking time XD

hateevryone 14

Saturday 18 June 2011 2:12

rule #1 never take your kids shopping, unless its for them.

ashnicrat 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 9:37

Hahaha that's to funny

Late_night83 25

Friday 21 October 2011 4:51

Fake.

Grandpa_Gray 5

Friday 15 August 2014 18:57

Are they just stupid

fantasyworld 37

Monday 22 June 2015 16:24

Why are they taking a three year old's words over an adult?

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 261

You deserved it 14 934

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 73

The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Not for cheating or for flirting, but because I wear tighty whities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 259

You deserved it 22 908

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 262

You deserved it 43 240

Today, I found out that my "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 910

You deserved it 6 814

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 410

You deserved it 3 977

Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walked out to the living room, and told my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He said no, then pretended to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 917

You deserved it 6 477

Today, I hooked up with a really great guy while I’m on a business trip. Would've been great, but found out he slept with someone else right after me, and stole my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 895