Today, a girl in my glass was complaining that her neck hurt. I thought if I forcibly turned her head side-to-side, it would instantly fix it like in the movies. It didn't. She was in so much pain, she couldn't even talk, and had to go to the hospital. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even that funny. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML
Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 33
"Like in the movies"? Are you stupid?
cuz803 44
I know you wanted to be helpful but what you did is an example of why low IQ individuals should be sanctioned in society. If you don't get sued, apologize to the girl and study kinesiology before tryna do it like it is "in the movies".
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Comments (9)
MidnaLink 33
"Like in the movies"? Are you stupid?
Ubehage 32
Seems so.
cuz803 44
I know you wanted to be helpful but what you did is an example of why low IQ individuals should be sanctioned in society. If you don't get sued, apologize to the girl and study kinesiology before tryna do it like it is "in the movies".
J_Free_Woods 28
Not all people with low IQ’s need to be sanctioned. As someone who works with people who have low IQ’s and other special needs, I’m offended. Most wouldn’t touch someone like this due to fear of something like this happening. Now my father who has an IQ over 145 would because he would be one of those people who is narcissistic enough to think just because he went to college he can do anything. He tried pulling a broken rotted tooth out of his mouth with pliers once and wound up with a shattered tooth, emergency dental surgery, a huge bill. Apparently stupidity can run with high IQ’s too.
RichardPencil 30
That defense ought to work in your attempted murder trial.
Hangryko 31
YDI. I hope she sues you for medical expenses and charges you for assault.
SJKatt 15
Hope she presses charges against you.
2deployments1divorce 11
Were you assisting Tinker Bell? Why do you have a girl in a glass?
wrenavery90 12
Are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure you're going to get sued big time. Why did you think it was ok to do that to another person?
spinningrecords 14
That’s how they kill people in the movies.
idragosani 15
Wow, you're an idiot. You better hope she doesn't try to sue you