Today, I woke up at 4 a.m., my back sore from being twisted like a pretzel due to my toddler. I successfully moved him, then my sick baby woke up, tried to nurse, screamed because he couldn’t breathe through his nose, screamed because I suctioned his nose, tried to nurse a blanket, then screamed when I offered him an actual boob. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM. The baby woke up at 5, ready to start the day. FML
Today, I was stranded on the couch with a sleeping baby. I had my phone, but everything I wanted to do needed both hands, or sound. I was toying with my phone on my lips when someone texted me, causing the phone to vibrate my teeth, which hurt, and to avoid my baby falling, I crunched my shoulder and pulled a muscle. FML
Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, my toddler is sick yet again. The only way he will sleep is me walking with him. It's 2:30 am, and I'm supposed to start back to full time employment in… 5 hours. Parenthood is not for the weak. FML
Today, while I took a short nap, my husband thought it would be a good idea to give our 9 month-old a shake with a whole milk base, despite being told several times he can’t digest it. Later, while we were out and about, he threw up. I rode home in the backseat with the baby, covered in it. FML
Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML
Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML
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Top comments
Mad Jack 4
Regretting not using the condoms? Haha!
Hangryko 32
Well, that's further birth control for me. Sorry your child is sick; I hope he recovers soon.
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Comments (4)
Mad Jack 4
Regretting not using the condoms? Haha!
Hangryko 32
Well, that's further birth control for me. Sorry your child is sick; I hope he recovers soon.
Ideal_Needle 20
I am so grateful for my vasectomy
MissCadaverous 11
Children are a gift from God. Im so sorry your babies are sick. I pray they get better and you all find peace OP. 🙏