Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "Radiance Ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "Radiance Ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and her friends mocked my "fragile masculinity" because I bought men's body wash instead of sharing her body wash. Her body wash is full of glitter, which irritates my skin horribly. FML
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML
Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
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Top comments
barroomhero 0
It's okay, every girl who sees you will jump you.
Fml37 0
You don't sparkle, you flame :p
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Comments (599)
trivel64 16
Wait, so when you take showers, new body washes just pop out of nowhere?
taylor714 7
its edward kill it kill it now
Jakespeed207 4
Oh, god, Twilight dummies are here >.< OP FYL. Now you're gonna have stupid obsessed bitches after you. Just... Stay home. Got something important? Phone. And Twilight if freaking horrible. I tried watching the movies AND reading the books. Ended up burning Twilight and New Moon at the same time. Literally burning them, and they deserved it, since Meyer seriously ****** up the view on vampires. I understand slowly changing something into something almost similar, but S.M. just overdid it.
hottiewitdamesse 8
OMG EDWARD
whogivesafuck88 10
Pics or it didn't happen
moffeya 10
Don't worry you will still get the girls ;D
pheonix_flash 7
Allthe virgin teenage girls are gonna be all over you!
SkyCloudie 7
Finally found out why Edward Cullen of Twilight sparkles, eh?. He's a big fan of "Radiance Ribbons"
EMTchic 14
Edward, is that you?!
justindrew14 29
edward!!!!!