Love that for you

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Aubrey

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 312
You deserved it 6 853

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Top comments

Pilkipedia 8

This relationship smells like a success.

nycwrestler 17

He's lying! Girls don't fart!


Pilkipedia 8

This relationship smells like a success.

No their love is so strong that you simply can't bear to be in the same room.

Better out then in, I always say!!

At least he didn't say you sharted alot.:)

ThePsyche 9

But hey, if he's still with you he's a keeper :)

Nothin says lovin, like a good Dutch oven.

I bet they blew each other away when they first met.

OP must really blow the wind up her boyfriend's sails.

Jorcar 8

Just stop farting around with these jokes... Ok, that was a fail, butt seriously.

hahahaha oh god that was funnier than the FML, which was pretty funny

When you have to go, you have to go.

Come on now; it's not like she shit the bed.

Or peed after orgasming.

I was just saying when you have to fart just let them go . Why hold them in?

Better to let it out and bear the shame, than hold it in and bear the pain...

Better in than out I always say

Better in than out? well you should GTFO with that BS.

I was with a girl that always peed after she orgasmed. She couldn't help it. It was gross but she was really hot.

That's disgusting 110

wlddog 14

I wonder if he tried to light any of them.

zombieslayer83 19

I guess he fu¢#ed the shit out of you!

nycwrestler 17

You can say shit but not fuck?

F**k, holy shit i got sensored too!

Regardless, this FML has nothing to do with shit, she farted, there's a difference.

But we don't know if it was a wet one.

Maybe he was just joking or poking fun at the fact she did? Kinda sounds like something I'd do with a girl I was comfortable enough with. Never seriously, such as "What the fuck you doing farting so much, bitch?" but "You know... you fart a lot in your sleep lovey..."... Just playing the devils advocate here.

I agree totally. How rude and mean to make the first thing out of his mouth such a put down. Should have said something lovely and sweet.

Valiumknights44 12

And they said romance is dead...or maybe they just wished it....

This time it was actually sent to the gas chamber.

Werken247 14

Or it just smells dead.

Valiumknights44 12

How gastly, no one gets my Buffy reference.

That sounds like a romantic first night!

nycwrestler 17

He's lying! Girls don't fart!

Na man they busted that myth on Myth Busters. It's true they do fart and even poop too.

Next your gonna tell me we urinate too!!!

We also sweat, and we also burp. Sorry to disappoint you.

Werken247 14

@27 I heard they only urinate when fucked with a full bladder. Still not sure I buy the bit about females shitting... think that's just pushing the limits of reality.

They do queef though..

#36 it's true they poop. The Myth Busters don't lie. You can't lie on television, it's illegal.

N3766 20

So all my life is a lie...

senor_awesome 14

Wait, so do guys have emotions also?!

nothing disappointing about that xD

Haha no #93 now that was a funny comment. "Do guys have emotions?" that's classic.

That's right, girls toot!

Now, did they wake him up or was he just taking forever to fall asleep? I rather think the former would be much worse. Either way, that's embarrassing! He shouldn't have said anything. :/

perdix 29

"Nah, it was just queefing!" That should make it better.

"Better out then in I always say!" -Shrek

its than*. the way you used then made it seem like shrek was convincing fiona to have sex with him.

Whoops. Didn't catch that one. Sorry.