Sex and Friends: Life on Nightmare mode

Life on Nightmare mode

By shitforchris - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 263

You deserved it 12 108

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Top comments

randomfacts 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:21

how about you grow a pair and tell her how you feel?

Emico_fml 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:25

You should have given her a demonstration.

Comments

naataliee 0

Sunday 23 August 2009 2:15

then u shoulda said,"here's what you do" and have sex with her :D

MissFantasy 0

Sunday 23 August 2009 5:19

aww guys give him a break =D I feel ur pain m8, u shud try makin small mooves towards tha 'more-than-friendship' relasionship GUUD LUCK =D

girliegirl12 0

Monday 24 August 2009 3:07

i feel for you

girliegirl12 0

Monday 24 August 2009 3:13

but i really think you should tell her how you feel

Fuckers 0

Monday 24 August 2009 12:38

you didnt

girliegirl12 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:09

yasure, but what if they've been friends for a long time? you cant just "stop" being friends with someone toy care so much about right?

girliegirl12 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:14

true, true.

Jessticle85 0

Monday 31 August 2009 0:17

YDI for being such a pussy. grow a pair

jormungandr 0

Monday 31 August 2009 12:21

YDI because no, you didn't have to.

kiwi0605 0

Tuesday 15 September 2009 15:56

Come on! You didn't HAVE to. And YDI for not telling her how you feel.

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Relatable Birthday Abuse Social Media Scams Money Parents Education School Kids Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Gross Work

The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 849

You deserved it 7 891

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 49

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 820

You deserved it 63 054

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 488

You deserved it 5 805

Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 618

You deserved it 363

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 082

You deserved it 5 893

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 884

You deserved it 3 730