By failfailfail - United Kingdom

Leave me alone !

Today, I had a big exam. Twenty minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled, "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10993

You deserved it

51422

Tweet

Share

Taking stock

Instadrama

Trust

By bitchsawmebuyit - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32177

You deserved it

4589

Tweet

Share

By squishylog - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48806

You deserved it

7074

Tweet

Share

By Courts - Australia - Adelaide

Evil

Today, I had a shift as a carer in a high-rise disability home, and working with a lady whom was once a midwife. She had a toy baby, and was rocking it. When I asked her what she was going to do what the baby so she could come to lunch, she casually threw the baby off the balcony and shrugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5454

You deserved it

503

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40256

You deserved it

3153

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29141

You deserved it

42011

Tweet

Share

By ren - United States

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29317

You deserved it

1940

Tweet

Share

By saywhat - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18213

You deserved it

39590

Tweet

Share

By ...... - United States

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18421

You deserved it

32091

Tweet

Share

By :/ - Netherlands - Nijkerk

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44102

You deserved it

2506

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46080

You deserved it

4757

Tweet

Share

By WolfsScar - United States - Lincoln

Be careful, please!

Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1407

You deserved it

511

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Seattle

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59276

You deserved it

4425

Tweet

Share

By poisonhand - United States

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26690

You deserved it

2795

Tweet

Share

By JAY22 - United States

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

223513

You deserved it

35658

Tweet

Share

By ukfan - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31353

You deserved it

5051

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10840

You deserved it

55397

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

I agree, your life sucks

19104

You deserved it

2293

Tweet

Share

By WellThatSucks - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13115

You deserved it

1359

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7768

You deserved it

42447

Tweet

Share

By grossuncle - United States

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46076

You deserved it

2835

Tweet

Share

By Angry and Confused - United States - Reno

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53021

You deserved it

2942

Tweet

Share

By insurgent - Belgium - Antwerpen

Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12477

You deserved it

2035

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41710

You deserved it

13605

Tweet

Share

By nonexistant - Canada

Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35393

You deserved it

9029

Tweet

Share

By poolgirl789 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Hands-on

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65610

You deserved it

4733

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42818

You deserved it

6047

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Romania - Campina

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

I agree, your life sucks

42174

You deserved it

2893

Tweet

Share

By thegrandchawhee - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19967

You deserved it

1788

Tweet

Share

By elfy2

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44058

You deserved it

3414

Tweet

Share

By imalilangel05 - United States

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

102039

You deserved it

5773

Tweet

Share

By imcold - United States

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31776

You deserved it

2765

Tweet

Share

By MerryDeathmas - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12509

You deserved it

29902

Tweet

Share

By Becca_Jo - United States - Caledonia

Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20982

You deserved it

1646

Tweet

Share

By pantydropper - United States

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49316

You deserved it

10626

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20762

You deserved it

54194

Tweet

Share

By Dirty - Canada

Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6257

You deserved it

531

Tweet

Share

By Cassandra - United States

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32542

You deserved it

12180

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11032

You deserved it

23613

Tweet

Share

By Idontdance - United States

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48023

You deserved it

4438

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39732

You deserved it

5504

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Hellsno | 0

#596061 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:07

drama queen

By Alphabetica | 0

#596091 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:18

That's ridiculous. As if you'd do that during an exam, what a drama queen.

COMMENTS

By leisl14 | 0

#596049 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:05

hahahaha

Reply

genius_man16 | 0

#598134 - Thursday 1 October 2009 21:58

#1 You are a total idiot. I mean really, who care if they're staring at you?

#2 In your (semi) defense I find it really pointless to look at the clock during an exam. All you are doing is wasting time you could be using to take the test.

Reply

Zen2nd | 0

#599997 - Friday 2 October 2009 21:04

Well its important to keep an eye on the time so you aren't spending too much time on the one question.

Reply

epicfailburger | 0

#874773 - Saturday 20 February 2010 7:44

OWNED by a clock!

Reply

JojoChuo | 8

#2299270 - Tuesday 5 April 2011 19:45

Pretty stupid that the colock is at the back of the room... should put it at the front...

Reply

JojoChuo | 8

#2299275 - Tuesday 5 April 2011 19:47

Clock* ...

By mcdonna | 3

#596054 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:05

lmao

Reply

xMeganMayhem | 6

#3435187 - Saturday 15 October 2011 10:52

If they weren't staring before, they're definitely staring now...

By Hellsno | 0

#596061 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:07

drama queen

Reply

OnerousMemories | 0

#602459 - Sunday 4 October 2009 9:08

thats just messed up man,making a mistake doesn't automatically make you a danger to the community

Reply

crazycornn | 0

#874456 - Saturday 20 February 2010 5:13

lol 78 you make me laugh! expelled? are you serious? XDXDXD ppl get expelled for possesion or carrying weapons and stuff like that! not fir being stupid!

but OP, Y still DI for being dumb and conceited.

Reply

Ketchup_Castle | 30

#3230704 - Saturday 3 September 2011 23:46

Yeah, who really cares if people are staring at you?

By yourMUMSgash | 0

#596067 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:09

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By Atamix | 0

#596077 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:14

i almost did the same thing.
then i realized there was a poster behind me

Reply

john_bell | 0

#596422 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 22:44

I almost did the same thing but I'm not a fucking idiot.

By plexico | 3

#596082 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:16

Paranoia will destroy ya!

By RR05 | 0

#596083 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

davidomke | 0

#596192 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:50

stats prove one out of one do

Reply

IambecomeRAWR | 0

#596420 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 22:42

Yeah! Go #7! Fuck all those people with their idiosyncrasies! BURN THE PARANOID!!!

By Alphabetica | 0

#596091 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:18

That's ridiculous. As if you'd do that during an exam, what a drama queen.

By giratina16 | 0

#596098 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:19

hmm common sense you don't yell in an exam duh

YDI

By season4reason | 0

#596100 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 20:20

wow, bad luck there but you need to come to terms with your paranoia there....focus on the exam and answering the questions instead of what others are doing around you, even if it is them staring at you