Today, ten years after getting my college girlfriend pregnant and leaving because I wasn't ready, I reached out to her and told her I'm ready to be a father. Apparently my son "already has a father in his life" and "doesn't need me." She laughed at me when I threatened to sue for custody, and hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a few years of not feeling ready since my daughter born, I went to my ex's apartment to tell her I am ready to be a dad. Turns out she moved out, two years ago, and left me forwarding address for me. I tried calling her phone. The number was disconnected. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
Today, the guy I had a two-week long fling with and got pregnant by (while on birth control I might add), and who disappeared more than a decade ago after I told him, showed up at my door, demanding shared custody of my daughter. While he is her biological parent, she’s never met him and was terrified. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, one year after giving my girlfriend an ultimatum that if she aborted our baby, then I would leave, she had the baby… and then left it with me. Now I'm stuck as a single parent while she is out living the high life, wanting nothing to do with either of us. FML
Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML
Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking. I jokingly stated, "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out, "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
Today, I'd had enough of my ex-husband ignoring me and our son, so I threatened to take him to court for sole custody. He didn't even hang up the phone to his client, he just told me to go for it because our son isn't really that interesting anyway, not enough to fight to try keep him. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
GOOD FOR HER !!!!!!!
Chazzster 32
OP, sorry but you really are a jerk! You dodge the first years of your child's life without supporting it or their mother because you aren't "in the mood" to be a father. And then you come back 10 years later threatening to sue for custody! Try it - the only thing you will accomplish is paying the 10 years of child support you skipped and 8 more years of child support for the now and future. No sane judge is going to give you custody.
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Comments (24)
Thaylok 17
GOOD FOR HER !!!!!!!
Chazzster 32
OP, sorry but you really are a jerk! You dodge the first years of your child's life without supporting it or their mother because you aren't "in the mood" to be a father. And then you come back 10 years later threatening to sue for custody! Try it - the only thing you will accomplish is paying the 10 years of child support you skipped and 8 more years of child support for the now and future. No sane judge is going to give you custody.
mike3775 39
You definitely deserve it. Sorry, but it’s doubtful you will have sympathy. I would say more, but I don’t want to be suspended or banned
Iamthebanzai22 21
Hahaha! Idiot. I'm just glad she found a real man to be a father to her son.
FluffythePink 24
What sort of delusional wanker are you? Wow...
JackWood 21
Apparently the ship has sailed on that one.
L0life29 6
you’re trash
Wadlaen 24
So, you've just met the consequences of your own actions? Good for you!
EricW 4
I really do pity you for being such a jerk. and a miserable one to boot
Nikki 17
I really don’t see how this is an F your life, it’s only an F hers because you decided to show back up. Make one right decision and leave them alone