By Lewis - France - Paris

When you don't want to visit your family

But moooooooom! I wanted to play Fortnite!

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Sweet dude

Family values

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18527

You deserved it

29750

Tweet

Share

By TJ - United States - Lacey

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27399

You deserved it

2803

Tweet

Share

By myjobsucks - Australia

Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41218

You deserved it

9238

Tweet

Share

By the_music_major - United States

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33352

You deserved it

4067

Tweet

Share

By Fatnotpregnant

Today, I now know why my new jeans are so comfy. They're maternity jeans. I thought the soft elastic in front was just for added comfort. Apparently, I need to lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4090

You deserved it

1235

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 23:03 - Canada

Fucking Facebook memories

Today, Facebook showed me pictures from five years of a happy time I had traveling with a boyfriend, who later ended our 8-year relationship by telling me he had gotten an apartment and furniture in secret, and was moving out. No warning, no reason, no explanation. He never spoke to me again. I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1655

You deserved it

174

Tweet

Share

By sleepylillion - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14140

You deserved it

1490

Tweet

Share

By LifeSucks

Today, I came home to an empty house. I found a note from my wife telling me she was bisexual and found love in a woman. I FaceTimed my sister to tell her about it, and who do I see with her? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3942

You deserved it

192

Tweet

Share

By Catscratch - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46359

You deserved it

3232

Tweet

Share

By DemonicDummy

Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my young cousin. I accidentally let out a burp during a demonic possession scene and, to our surprise, smoke came out of my mouth. Now there's a crying 11-year-old hiding somewhere in the house with salt. Mom will be home in 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10572

You deserved it

2652

Tweet

Share

By Laura_2118 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24788

You deserved it

4305

Tweet

Share

By jealousgirl - United Kingdom

Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29315

You deserved it

8007

Tweet

Share

By Jess - United States

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

65725

You deserved it

3526

Tweet

Share

By Imdead

Today, we're taking the plane home from Dublin after a school trip that I only barely got onto after troubles with my passport. Luckily for me, a kind person has decided to save me from the passport this evening - together with the rest of my wallet. I'm stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2566

You deserved it

213

Tweet

Share

By somebody - United States - Lexington Park

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33264

You deserved it

2066

Tweet

Share

By enya - Luxembourg

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21988

You deserved it

1427

Tweet

Share

By SkiMaskFukd - United States

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43097

You deserved it

5787

Tweet

Share

By nearsighted-ut

Cool nickname

Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1827

You deserved it

111

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47378

You deserved it

3803

Tweet

Share

By Wrabel - Germany - Mainz

Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32277

You deserved it

9878

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27556

You deserved it

3075

Tweet

Share

By itstillhurts - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10520

You deserved it

35618

Tweet

Share

By fuzzy1895 - United States

Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33270

You deserved it

2575

Tweet

Share

By CasaDeLoser - United States - Kent

Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30967

You deserved it

3293

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Stockport

Sexy morning

Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2638

You deserved it

261

Tweet

Share

By nofatchicks - United States - Tampa

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61656

You deserved it

7811

Tweet

Share

By Elizabeth - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35740

You deserved it

5431

Tweet

Share

By wormsick - United States

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36896

You deserved it

3134

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47975

You deserved it

12836

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11177

You deserved it

43299

Tweet

Share

By Disappointed - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14091

You deserved it

2680

Tweet

Share

By Photos - United States

Today, after I got home from school I went to my room to find the maid had cleaned it, also to find a bag labeled "trash" it was all the sketches and paintings I had done in art class, which is my major plan for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48626

You deserved it

4674

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59343

You deserved it

17157

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27321

You deserved it

4792

Tweet

Share

By A girl - Netherlands

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52648

You deserved it

4532

Tweet

Share

By obsceene - United States

Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29004

You deserved it

8344

Tweet

Share

By SunBed - 11/5/2020 17:00

Soaked

Today, I came home to my bed and most of my room soaking wet. This morning, my mom thought it would be "smart" to warm up my room by opening the skylight above my bed. There were heavy showers all day today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1627

You deserved it

93

Tweet

Share

By Druggie - United States - Culver City

Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6582

You deserved it

1452

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14661

You deserved it

36685

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 20:02

This guy is a GENIUS

Today, in a bid to avoid going to the dentist, my husband decided to have one of his drunk buddies pull his tooth out with pliers. Now he has to have surgery to remove the shards of tooth left rotting in his mouth. It’s going to cost thousands. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1044

You deserved it

115

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Angcrad | 17

#7738158 - Saturday 15 December 2018 18:28

I just wanted to complain about the App. I click on the video, I get a 30 seconds ad, I vote on a post, I get a 30 seconds ad, I click on the comment button, I get a 30 seconds ad. Every single time, this is highly intrusive and is murder on my data plan.

By mindy12182 | 17

#7739523 - Tuesday 18 December 2018 10:11

well that face definitely says f*** you human and I'm shitting in your shoes tonight.

COMMENTS

By Angcrad | 17

#7738158 - Saturday 15 December 2018 18:28

I just wanted to complain about the App. I click on the video, I get a 30 seconds ad, I vote on a post, I get a 30 seconds ad, I click on the comment button, I get a 30 seconds ad. Every single time, this is highly intrusive and is murder on my data plan.

By maikeru1979 | 23

#7738204 - Saturday 15 December 2018 21:03

this was DUMB!!! how does this video end up on FML

By mindy12182 | 17

#7739523 - Tuesday 18 December 2018 10:11

well that face definitely says f*** you human and I'm shitting in your shoes tonight.