Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, all so there could be "someone to answer the phone." The phone didn't ring once all day. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
The worst! I've done that and had to unscrew a window and climb through. Fortunately I live in the middle of nowhere so no one saw.
I_Bite 22
you turn the lock and pull the door behind you..
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Comments (34)
lyricalservant 21
when your head is occupied with thoughts these things happen, that's what I observed at least. Mine is worse OP. Im scared i might forgot and left my own girlfriend like you left your keys too. Calmness comes from an empty mind. Something WE need to learn
SarahRanee_ 6
an easy solution to this problem that SOOOO many people have, though it takes an extra second or two, DO NOT LOCK YOUR DOOR BEFORE YOU EXIT. Instead, wait until you are outside, keys in hand, door closed to lock it USING your key. if you do it this way, you will never be able to lock yourself out. Also, its always good to have a spare key hidden outside (:
Waschlappen 23
Not everybody has doors that they need to lock. My front door locks itself. If I close the door, it's locked and I can't do anything so it wont lock. Pretty annoying when you're only going to take the trash out or something like that!
Migole 36
Maybe this is different in the US but in Germany, basically every housedoor in existence automatically locks when you close it, as in you can only open it from the inside
tehdarkness 21
Try thinking positive!
Goblin182 27
Ain't no amount of thinking positive gonna open that lock. ut it reminds me of the movie Kelly's Heros. Always with the negative waves, Moriariti.
RAndEM 9
Yes. Definitely another stressful day.
G00N3R 19
Haha I have to grab a ladder and climb in through the windows when I lock myself out
QueenSaru 28
Wow FML is so enlightening. I've never had a house door that auto-locked when you closed it, you always had to lock the deadbolt from the outside after you exited, so thankfully while I've forgotten to LOCK my door when leaving, I've never locked myself OUT of my house. XD I didn't even know there WERE doors that could auto lock (besides apartment lobby doors etc).
Goblin182 27
I have done that. That's why I have made myself get into the habit, I never lock my house door or car door unless I have my keys in hand.
Hauclir 14
Everyone has to break in to their own place at least once.
NevermoreRoses 20
Cluster-******. Sucks, OP.
syed121417 22
Sorry, OP. You seem so stressed, love, I hope for the best for you. As for the lock, find a lock smith or if you live in an apartment, ask the landlord for a spare. Sorry, again and I hope life gets better.