Miscellaneous: HELP! - FML

HELP!

By CandyMachine - 16/02/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 834

You deserved it 9 847

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Same thing different taste

Selecta blues

By Not my day - 28/11/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get something out of a vending machine. It got stuck. I tried getting something else to knock it down. That got stuck too. I tried a third time… take a wild guess. One massive tirade later, someone came and tried to help me out. Stuck. Four times in a row. How is that even possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 175

By aquagoddess - 03/07/2018 19:00

Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 763

You deserved it 278

Man vs. Machine

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 106

By Z'ev - 05/04/2013 16:34 - United States - New York

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 497

You deserved it 10 047

Goober

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 02:00

Today, at a local mini mart, I tried several times to open a door that clearly said "PUSH" by pulling it, much to the amusement to the customers and staff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 796

By Eodowoiono - 06/08/2013 16:20 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, as a joke, my friend put my bus money in the vending machine. Not only did the machine not return my money, it wouldn't give me an item in return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 336

You deserved it 4 605

By quarterback - 23/01/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 116

You deserved it 44 631

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 267

You deserved it 46 050

By iblamethetories - 11/10/2012 17:49 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 857

You deserved it 4 869

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 15:51 - Japan

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 453

You deserved it 91 624

Next

Top comments

giantsofeast 2

Thursday 17 February 2011 8:59

lol you remind me of homer Simpson

schwiggidy 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 8:59

when it don't fit in the slot, harder! harder!

Comments

noahlazarowski 0

Friday 22 July 2011 23:59

that's what he said times 1000000000000

janro72 10

Sunday 11 December 2011 2:46

and you managed to write up this how long after tit happened? loll

spikedrummer49 6

Friday 30 December 2011 21:24

The next logical step would be to push the door harder with your head... Fail.

Coffeebang 17

Sunday 5 February 2012 13:21

How did you get out?

guitar666God 12

Sunday 3 June 2012 9:50

RWould you like some lotion for your hands to fit?

With_Love929 3

Sunday 29 July 2012 6:38

Omg that reminds me of Saw xD hehehehhahaha

With_Love929 3

Sunday 29 July 2012 6:38

Omg that reminds me of Saw xD hehehehhahaha

laya_fml 26

Saturday 9 February 2013 0:50

So, did you get the snack?

WingedLovely27 20

Thursday 3 October 2013 8:35

Nom nom nom..

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Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 92

Today, I was fired from my new job before my first paycheck for taking 2 days off. I took 2 days off because my father got drunk and totaled my car, leaving me with no transportation, a hospitalized dad, property damage, and no money to pay for it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 500

You deserved it 501

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lives two hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 400

You deserved it 4 461

Today, my state decriminalized small amounts of every hard drug you can name. Heroin, LSD, cocaine, you name it. I'm a recovering addict. I moved to Oregon to get away from the big city and drugs and take in nature. No I didn't. I knew this would happen. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 1 176

Today, I went in for a doctor's appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 539

You deserved it 9 293

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 433

You deserved it 4 587