Intimacy: FML: Uncensored

FML: Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 685

You deserved it 4 417

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Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 733

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 702

You deserved it 4 699

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 999

You deserved it 4 479

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 69 921

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 636

You deserved it 202

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 152

You deserved it 3 601

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 816

You deserved it 7 800

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 983

You deserved it 2 992

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 271

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 687

You deserved it 7 125

JHC88 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:32

Wow, that was really rude of him.

123josie123 11

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:34

Ew they didn't have the decency to wait till you're gone??

Comments

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 15 January 2012 11:07

You must be a heavy sleeper for you not to notice someone getting in the bed with you or you were too drunk to notice. FYL, your so Called friend should have warned you first.

The_Hitdude 12

Sunday 15 January 2012 15:44

...Yeah, letting her know in advance: "Hey, just to let you know, I invited my boyfriend over, and we were planning on ******* each other's brains out. In this bed. If you feel uncomfortable, you can borrow my Ipod and listen to some really loud music.."

DinoAri 9

Monday 16 January 2012 8:34

Not everyone is a light sleeper, so OP probably needed a bit more movement to wake her up which is what her friend's bf did by kicking her.

raven_of_azarath 34

Sunday 6 August 2017 8:04

For most of my life, I've had cats that sleep with me. I'm not exactly a heavy sleeper, but I've learned to get used to and ignore movement on my bed while I'm sleeping. It's not really that hard if a concept. And if OP is used to sleeping with someone, they'd be oblivious to extra movement, too.