Love: First and last - FML

First and last

By hannaholic - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 044

You deserved it 5 005

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Same thing different taste

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 092

You deserved it 4 131

By Lori - 04/11/2015 18:46 - United States - Littleton

Today, I agreed to go on a date with this really nice guy. Halfway through the date, he started talking about his wife and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 796

You deserved it 2 000

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 945

You deserved it 208

Weird encounter

By No date for me - 29/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 128

By hollysofly - 15/01/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 199

You deserved it 7 964

Unlucky in love

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 10:00 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, it was supposed to be my first date with a girl I've been speaking to for three months. Last night, she revealed that she's still married, that her husband is "not so bad", and then confessed it all to him and blocked me. It was gonna be my first date in six years, after the last one stalked me across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 165

Great meeting you!

By Anonymous - 04/10/2025 09:00

Today, I met my online date at a café. As soon as I walked in, I walked straight up to the wrong person, and launched into a 2-minute ramble about how excited I was to finally meet him. He just blinked and said, “I’m married.” My actual date was sitting right behind me, albeit a similar but not as good looking man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 463

Interruption

By Freddie06 - 18/10/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 158

Bad omen

By DefiantBaka - 21/05/2022 08:00 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I found out the man I have a date with next week is married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 122

Charming

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a date, everything was charming and fun, so I went in for a kiss. She turned her head at the last second, and I ended up kissing her ear. We both went on to pretend that it didn’t happen, but the silence was deafening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 118

Next

Top comments

darkmis1 17

Friday 3 July 2009 16:04

Tell his wife-she deserves to know her husbands a cheating creep.

Sevenfold 0

Friday 3 July 2009 16:02

Ouch.

Comments

Avenging_Angel 0

Friday 3 July 2009 20:39

After that, you should have looked at him calmly, and said "I suppose this is the time when I beat the shit out of you." or maybe a slap to the face would suffice

MmmHotWaffles 0

Friday 3 July 2009 20:45

someone call Joey Grecko from Cheaters

greenltrn2003 0

Friday 3 July 2009 21:17

ha

xOblivion 0

Friday 3 July 2009 21:19

he should have said this while coming to pick you up. you don't give people false hope like that !

Mc09toofine 0

Friday 3 July 2009 21:29

Wow that really sucks!!! but you're lucky that it was just a first date.. I'm sorry that happened to you though that guy's gonna get back what's coming to him.. don't worry about it.

hahaha12 0

Friday 3 July 2009 21:45

HAHA i did this once were i teased a guy than when he came over i said i had a boyfreind hahaha i know how it feels cauz he got pissed

esines 9

Friday 31 August 2012 6:25

Wow you're a bitch *****

lnf9ohfour 0

Friday 3 July 2009 21:46

you're old enough to date a married guy ? it was your FIRST date ? .. thats more of an FML than this, no im joking, it isnt :P but still FYL.

caticaticati 3

Friday 3 July 2009 22:15

First date with that guy. Not first date ever.

chapmmel 0

Friday 3 July 2009 21:57

:O Wow ! THATS GROSS AND MEAN... right Laura?

DarthJeff 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:09

Tell his wife? What gives you the right? Pump and dump. Good thing dumb girls are plentiful.

mcsnelly 5

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:33

What gives the husband the right to cheat on his wife? If he thinks he can cheat, then the OP (or absolutely anyone else who knows that the husband is cheating) has the right to tell the wife, and she DEFINITELY has the right to know!

fmelanieslife 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 4:12

Why does everyone assume the husband is cheating? Maybe he was still married to his wife because divorce is a tedious process. That doesn't mean they're still "together."

Lifelooser_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 4:18

You should have just hit him.

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The Top

The Top

Today, I was alone at home. It was a boring day, so I just masturbated. Then someone rang the bell. Police and reporters were waiting for me at the door. There was a triple homicide and a suicide next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 213

Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 478

You deserved it 25 004

Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 320

You deserved it 10 952

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 232

You deserved it 14 077

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 880

You deserved it 1 808

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 223