Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML
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Top comments
iOceanus 18
Poop a watermelon. Your poop will definitely win!
Ambient25 25
I pooped a Nickelback album once...it still sounded the same
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Comments (78)
byron17 26
his poop must have been very ap"peel"ing! DABOOM BOOM-OOM CHCK! soz, not very good with making puns... -.-
stevothedevo 25
Or playing drums.
3rdbass 9
How dare you associate Mr Bean with such a crappy comment?
byron17 26
teddy told me to....
jameen 11
What are you marrying into?
shadowedpixie 19
Sounds like my family.
TiffGreen 11
Mine too haha mine send out mass pic messages of their poop lol
noelasis94 18
Strange what entertains people these days, it's a bit like a cat with a string isn't it!
limitedition 25
Still not that bad as far as in-laws go.
alicr 2
Run before it's too late
superpoptart 24
Why are these comments so negative? Have a sense of humor, OP, you're gonna have to get used to it.
rg350dx 29
(Spongbob intro music) OOOOOOOOOOOOO Who ***** out a pineapple will impress me.
chanellgymnast 17
That is some classy shit.
skyeyez9 25
I hope the next time he tries to take a pic of his turd, his phone slips out of his hand and Into the toilet.