Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML
Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML
Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Vincere_fml 0
That guy's pathetic... unbelievable
gabby1995pena 4
She probably got pregnant.
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Comments (121)
jake_im_jake 0
possibly the smartest man ever born
necomni 0
Wow, he sounds like he's done that several times before. Probably well-rehearsed and everything.
CrazedLeper 0
better get tested.
javlin 0
what a champ
wbrycem 0
I applaud that man. That is freakin awesome haha
ZyQo 0
mabtw.com
MackenzieB 0
Haha that sucks. What a dick.
heatherjay 0
lol @ you. don't be such a **** next time.
ill 0
Had to register just to comment on this... Just cracking up at these hilarious comments like "Oh well at least if the sex was bad you won't need his #".... how do you people miss the part about him busting inside her? (I know that's part assumption part fact, but it's probably what happened) But even if you're on the pill, ******* random barstools no rubber is a surefire way of having an itchy cooch. ;)
inlimbo11 0
That's why you don't **** someone you just met in a bar...you're an idiot and a ****. congratulations.