He thinks porn is better than you... Time to step up your game.

Throw in a strap-on, some Furbies, and maybe even a spaghetti strainer.

Face it, it's over. You don't have a husband, you have a roommate.

You need to go find some hot cock elsewhere, because your husband has forfeited his claim to your vajayjay. Your moment of truth will come when you walk in on him jerking of to porn and point at the horse cock on the screen and say, "My boyfriend's dick is even bigger."