Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
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Top comments
blondie1208 17
so how did the conversation with grandma go?
ZebulonPike 8
Owned!
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Comments (206)
perdix 31
"Don't listen to that prude of a mother you have, just keep jacking off. How's school going? I don't suppose you have a girlfriend -- you know, with that jacking off and all. . ."
brianfantana32 10
Best commenter on FML, I would bow down, but I don't wantv to
gareth22 0
Haha the best hope u were almost finished
samanthaalexa 0
Haha wow
sexyteddybear 0
Wow bad luck Huh?!?
dookiedoo 0
You better listen. Back in Grandma's day, masturbation could make you go blind.
SeemsToFail 0
I wouldve just shouted "I WASNT WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT" then grabbed the fone
harley1058 0
You haven't learned when or where to wack yet have you?
Tavannah1203 0
Maybe you should've locked the door...?
lewk908 13
who says touching yourself anyway? I prefer flogging the dolphin and/or weasel
bennie2789 0
I was just wondering did u finish your self off well u were taken to grandma?