Intimacy: Better safe - FML

Better safe

By stretchy - 06/05/2013 19:58 - United States - Bethesda

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 665

You deserved it 9 353

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Same thing different taste

That's not how any of this works

By Anonymous - 24/10/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, I gave my hubby a hand massage as he's beginning to deal with carpal tunnel issues. He then proceeded to tell me, and I quote, "This is the consequences of not properly stretching as a young guy. I did stretch pussy though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 138

No stamina

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 16:00 - United Arab Emirates

Spicy

Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 230

By chunkymonkey - 24/08/2012 13:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 10 328

By Anonymous - 20/09/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 154

You deserved it 911

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 336

You deserved it 4 393

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 09:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 709

You deserved it 6 586

Please forgive me

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 23:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 405

You deserved it 4 914

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 720

You deserved it 9 183

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 5 107

It's sus to us

By inder - 25/02/2011 16:03 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 845

You deserved it 4 744

Next

Top comments

BlueMoonCafe 12

Tuesday 7 May 2013 1:13

Better safe than sorry.

SWC_Penguin 17

Tuesday 7 May 2013 1:13

Let me guess. He doesn't stretch but rather sits and watches YOU stretch.

Comments

FightMyLiger 19

Tuesday 7 May 2013 2:18

Wow. He must be huge!

solosohigh 15

Tuesday 7 May 2013 2:22

well, it's not the worst idea. the reverse cowgirl can really kill the quadriceps.

tralala453 22

Tuesday 7 May 2013 2:24

He's taking safe sex a little too seriously.

elizacandle 29

Tuesday 7 May 2013 2:46

Boo hoo. I have a boyfriend who wants to have sex with me and cares for my safety.

bushyyboy 11

Tuesday 7 May 2013 3:16

The hip rotation!

ulquiorra102 10

Tuesday 7 May 2013 3:21

Safety first! :D

Xotoolyxo 16

Tuesday 7 May 2013 3:29

At least you know now the sex will be good

shortandproud13 14

Tuesday 7 May 2013 3:42

Lol! Kinda sounds like my boyfriend, but I know he wants me to be more flexible for him ;)

MedChew 19

Tuesday 7 May 2013 3:56

I suspect a fetish going on here

perdix 29

Tuesday 7 May 2013 3:58

He's a good guy -- he's doing it more for you than himself. If we have any swelling down there, that just makes it bigger and that's a good thing. You won't be much fun with a pulled cooter.

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I agree, your life sucks 11 819

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