Today, I discovered that my friend's mom found my little sister, who is severely narcoleptic, muddy and sleeping in the park yesterday. She thought she was abandoned and took her to their home. They are extremely rich, and was treated royally that night. Now my sister refuses to "wake up to reality" and come home. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found my sister online after over a year of no contact. Our other sister framed her, getting our parents to kick out and disown her. Her childhood sweetheart and his mom took her in, and is now living a life of luxury with them abroad, while we live off government checks, which BARELY cover bare basics. FML
Today, after an emergency, my sister’s kids had to spend the night at my house. While I was asleep, they absolutely trashed my place top to bottom. In the morning my sister came in, said, “Wow, what a mess! Bye!” without offering to help clean up or make her kids do it. They drew on my dog. FML
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
Today, after hitting hard times and needing a place to stay, I'd asked my sister for help to which she sent me a paragraph-long response about how it would break their lease if they had people live there, leading me to sleep on a friend's couch, I found out our tweaker mom started staying at my sisters and didn't leave for 6 months. FML
Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML
Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year-old man with a cold. FML
Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML
Today, we found out my niece has been faking all her issues in order to keep up her “damaged, beautiful disaster” online persona. She went too far and ended up on a 72hr hold. Now she’s screaming, crying, and begging to come home because the hospital is “too scary.” FML
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