Miscellaneous and Cute: Badum tish!

Badum tish!

By oof ok - 01/08/2024 13:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I told my friend that my new neighbor's name is Sandra and "that's pretty much all I know." She responded with, "You're right, Sandra is a pretty name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 141

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Same thing different taste

By CasaDeLoser - 11/03/2015 05:32 - United States - Kent

Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 054

You deserved it 3 318

Hi, how are you?

By kaz89 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 965

You deserved it 8 435

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 15:00

Today, my new neighbour is totally a Karen, she has the sunglasses, the haircut and the outfits we all know so well, plus I can hear how she speaks to her husband and kids through the wall. I’m afraid to leave my house in case she introduces herself and immediately finds something to moan about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 717

By IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed - 20/12/2011 11:49 - Mauritius

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 826

You deserved it 3 535

Doesn't add up

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 05:02

Today, my coworker asked me to add her on Facebook. She has a common name, so I picked the one I thought was her. After no response for a while, I asked for the right spelling. She saw the one I thought was her and said, “I can’t believe you thought I was that ugly.” She wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 214

The patriarchy rules

By hyphen - 09/12/2020 18:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I was talking to a new friend when I told him my last name. It’s hyphenated. He then left and declared me to be a "stuck-up bitch" who thinks she’s "too good to take a man’s last name." This is the name I was born with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 139

What's in a name?

By Oof - 27/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I introduced my coworker to my friend's boyfriend. When I mentioned his name, she started crying. Apparently he has the same first name as her twin brother, who died shortly after birth, so that name has become a bit of a sore spot for her. I didn't even know she had a twin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 94

Cut short

By Technomage - 27/03/2021 11:01

Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 66

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 04:12 - Australia

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 584

You deserved it 3 864

By Clueless - 21/04/2011 23:49 - United States

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 052

You deserved it 31 108

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Friday 2 August 2024 0:26

I don’t see why anyone who was paying attention to what you said would have misunderstood them.

idragosani 15

Thursday 1 August 2024 22:24

I almost reacted the same way as your neighbor and had to read it twice

Comments

idragosani 15

Thursday 1 August 2024 22:24

I almost reacted the same way as your neighbor and had to read it twice

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Friday 2 August 2024 0:26

I don’t see why anyone who was paying attention to what you said would have misunderstood them.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 473

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 050

The Top

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 945

You deserved it 39 073

Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 882

You deserved it 2 771

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 765

You deserved it 46 182

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 184

You deserved it 5 861

Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 193

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 524

You deserved it 18 324