Health: Bad Luck Brian - FML

Bad Luck Brian

By Hayley - 24/02/2018 19:00

Today, my doctor told me that my lungs are as bad as a 60-year-old heavy smoker's. I'm 19 and I've never touched a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 082

You deserved it 234

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Same thing different taste

By imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 2 816

Smoking kills

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 12:59 - United States - Steele

Today, my grandmother - who has been a heavy smoker for almost forty years, and does not believe in the dangers of smoking - was diagnosed with COPD. Also, I'm now at a greater risk of developing COPD because of her (and my parents, who also smoke). FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 86

By Mattrd - 05/02/2013 00:42 - United States

Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 681

You deserved it 3 928

Trust the science

By Wtf - 29/04/2011 16:09 - Canada

Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 446

You deserved it 3 014

By bananayellowteeth - 03/05/2009 08:37 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 854

You deserved it 9 073

Bullseye

By cannabis_this420 - 17/03/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 011

You deserved it 101 124

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 16:39 - France - Issy-les-moulineaux

Today, I had a heart attack. At the hospital, the doctor compared my heart to a stressed out 60 year-old's heart. I'm 17 and I don't even have a job yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 204

You deserved it 1 939

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 173

You deserved it 3 523

Smoking is cool

By Wheeze - 15/10/2022 03:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I've learned that you can get chronic obstructive pulmonary disease from second-hand smoke, even if you don't smoke. I don't have it yet, but my parents are heavy smokers. They insist that the health risks are "exaggerated". Why don't you go tell that to my grandma, who actually DOES have COPD and was a heavy smoker until recently? FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 11/04/2012 03:49 - United States - Moreland

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 679

You deserved it 2 068

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Top comments

CTRuppert 3

Saturday 24 February 2018 20:45

I had to sign in just because of this. Joined the army and went to basic at 18yrs old. But before i could finish had an infection in both lungs plus both ears and was medically discharged. For some reason i wasnt feeling better after months so i went to the doctor, they checked my lungs and told me that they looked like a 50yr old who has smoked 2 packs a day all his life even though i have never done drugs or smoked. They even said that i might have to be put on those air respirators or whatever there scientific name was agian by the age of 30. Glad though as i am 25 and have been getting better over the years. Hope everything works out for you.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 25 February 2018 2:41

This is why I hate people who smoke in the presence of others. It's been proven that second-hand smoke is worse than first-hand smoke, so even if you don't go near cigarettes, you can still get lung cancer from second-hand smoke because some inconsiderate ass keeps puffing on the things in your vicinity.

Comments

raven_of_azarath 34

Sunday 25 February 2018 20:14

I dated a guy who’s liver was as bad as an alcoholic’s, but he hated the taste of alcohol so much, he couldn’t even eat food cooked with it. Genetics are just a bitch sometimes.

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 26 February 2018 3:01

Do you live with a smoker? Do you work in an industry that has you breathing in toxins? There are a number of things that can mess with your lungs besides cigarettes--and sadly, genetics is one of them.

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The Top

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 463

You deserved it 4 807

Today, I sat down and worked out I get paid £26000 a year for working 40 hours a week. Meanwhile my boss gets paid £115000 to answer emails when he remembers to and to attend 5 hours of mandatory meetings a month, which he now does over video chat from his vacation cottage in Scotland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 103

The Top

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 294

You deserved it 4 006

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 118

You deserved it 2 556

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 157

Today, despite intensive therapy, despite adding a powerful antidepressant to my mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, I am still severely depressed and can see no light at the end of this tunnel. I'm losing hope that I’ll ever be happy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 133

Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 469

You deserved it 4 482

Today, there was a power outage at my apartment. I ended up deciding that the power wasn't going to come on any time soon, and that I should go to a hotel for the night. Just after I unpacked at the hotel, my neighbor called to say the power had come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 501

You deserved it 44 075