Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mum used her spare key to get into my flat and stole almost all my food. She claimed she did it for my health because I’m "getting a bit chubby." I weigh 12 stone while she weighs over 20, plus all my food was in her kitchen, except for the already empty packets in her bin. FML
Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, after my aunt died and left me everything, I found my heroin addict brother searching my house, demanding his share of the money. He thought I had it in cash, so I called the cops. Now our mom is mad at me because a good brother would have given him something. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
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Top comments
memo619 0
this is priceless :P my mom accused me of being gay because I accidentally slapped her bf's ass xD
JenL_fml 7
Isn't heroin done through needles? o.O
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Comments (228)
chosha_fml 27
#14 Or maybe it just wasn't that funny.
jsa92 0
seems like an oddly sipfic accusation. your moms an addict
Mach10 0
There is no spoon?
usmcFML4life 0
FYL for having a heroine addicted mom
realfigueroa 1
lol
fawkingAye 0
37 fyl for being a motard.
kinga08 0
Huh? I'm pretty sure not everything in her brain is wired correctly. I hate it when people, especially parents, assume the worst. Your mother's assumption however goes way beyond assuming the worst.
jess6blondie9 3
They assume the worst because they don't want their kids doing dumb stuff,:)
liveaboveit 1
but when they aren't doing the worst?? who looks like the assholes? the parents or the kid?
QueenOfBoredom 0
it depends on if they assume the worst and their assumptions are correct or not .... didnt think of that now did you
Itstherealjen 0
why your mom think you are using drugs.....?!
HesJustTheBest 0
I'm sorry, tell your mother I had to borrow some spoons so that I could line them up, take pictures of them, and then use those pictures on the set of my movie. If you want them back you'll have to pay a hefty price because they have become quite a treasure now.
kritz0 10
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rattusrattus 19
I'm trying to see the logical leap here... my brain hurts. You're mother's a paranoid, OP, or a bitch.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Your mum is a wacko. Has she always been that paranoid? If so, I am truly sorry! :O