Anonymous · 13 September 2026, 00:00 ·New York, United States

Truth bomb

Today, my son's blood type was tested for college requirements. He's AB-; I'm B+; His mom/my ex is B+, a genetically impossible combo. He wasn't blood-typed at birth. This explains A LOT of my ex's behavior during our marriage/custody issues since then. There's a secret she wanted hidden. No one knows that I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 61

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Anonymous · 12 September 2026, 03:00 ·Ontario, United States

Cursed

Today, I got hit with the “Beginning of the Year Curse” and by that I mean my kids went back to school and brought the flu home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308 You deserved it 73

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Anonymous · 11 September 2026, 22:00 ·United States

Sixth time's the charm

Today, I mustered up the courage to tell my son that I would not be attending his sixth wedding. He responded by cutting access to my grandson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455 You deserved it 107

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Anonymous · 11 September 2026, 12:00 ·United States

A sitter's a sister

Today, I offered to babysit half siblings so my sister didn't have to, but my dad and stepmom said no, because: "Babysitting is a girl's job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 424 You deserved it 77

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Anonymous · 9 September 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Trust issues

Today, I found out that my husband secretly DNA-tested all of our kids after they were born. Obviously they're his, but I'm incredibly hurt at his lack of trust and I'm thinking about divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466 You deserved it 146

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Anonymous · 7 September 2026, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

You idiot!

Today, we found out in the middle of my son's custody battle that he never filed the joint custody papers when his son was born, they're just sat in a drawer in his kitchen because he’d "get round to it.” His ex has sole legal custody and has cut off all contact with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141 You deserved it 364

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yosmurf · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Dollar cut

Today, my son proudly announced to me that he has been learning to cut out shapes at school, and that he'd cut out some ovals and wanted to show me. He showed me the pictures of Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson and Jackson, and their corresponding bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 178 You deserved it 348

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Anonymous · 2 September 2026, 15:00 ·Rialto, United States

Grudge

Today, it’s like we’re living the dumbest most petty version of Romeo and Juliet ever. My daughter’s boyfriend’s father forced his son to break up with her because the dad and I dated for a year way back in high school. I left him for another guy and apparently he never got over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341 You deserved it 111

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Anonymous · 31 August 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom

Daddy issues

Today, we got our daughter's birth certificate. Turns out my husband thought it would be funny to give her a middle name, which we never discussed, and he picked one to sound funny. Not actually going to tell the internet her name, but it’s as bad as calling a boy Ben Dover. I’m furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416 You deserved it 98

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Alone · 29 August 2026, 00:00 ·Singapore, Singapore

Wife REALIZES her husband is HIDING sick secret

Today, my wife was all on board with having kids… until she started obsessively following the Lindsay Clancy case. I just got divorce papers, and when I demanded answers, she said the case made her not want to be a mom and wife anymore. Fuck you, Lindsay Clancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406 You deserved it 184

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Anonymous · 26 August 2026, 09:00 ·Arlington, United States

Unfair ruling

Today, my late sister's kids are in separate foster homes and I was told I can't have custody of them because I'm not a resident of their state (California). I can't afford to live there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462 You deserved it 52

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Anonymous · 26 August 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Fleeting

Today, I took my step-kids and left my abusive husband. I've just been informed that I'm being accused of kidnapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 199

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Anonymous · 24 August 2026, 00:00 ·Louisville, United States

Family man

Today, I found out that yet again I'm having twins. Sounds great and all, but the only problem is that my mother-in-law is the one pregnant. Oh boy, I'm fucked! FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 You deserved it 784

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Cool aunt · 23 August 2026, 20:00 ·Canada

Have fun!

Today, I bought my niece a huge stuffed teddy bear for her birthday because I wanted to be the cool aunt/uncle. She hugged it, smiled, and then immediately hugged the gift bag instead, because apparently it made a "funny" crinkly noise. I have officially been defeated by packaging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244 You deserved it 128

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ilovemypup · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Cheap and gross

Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 212 You deserved it 828

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Anonymous · 23 August 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Emergency!

Today, I got my kids busy, so I took a shower. I heard banging on the door. “MOM! Emergency!” I wrapped myself in a towel and opened the door expecting some catastrophe. My 6-year-old said, “Where do we keep the spoons?” I stared at him. “The drawer.” “Oh. OK.” Then walked off. I stood there dripping, wondering how I had become the emergency spoon consultant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288 You deserved it 93

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Anonymous · 22 August 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Cheap labor

Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 20 August 2026, 00:00 ·Euless, United States

For better and for worse

Today, I'm getting a divorce after only three months because my wife accepted a job transfer that would require us to move across the country. I'm sorry but I do not want to be away from my kids or my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346 You deserved it 158

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Timv86 · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·Australia

It is though

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 370 You deserved it 3 154

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Anonymous · 19 August 2026, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Shifting the blame

Today, at work, I gave ice cream to a kid and apple pie to his dad. The kid decided to grab a literal handful of the dad’s pie which was steaming hot. Cue the kid screaming and the dad yelling at me for not telling his kid that the dessert, that WASN'T HIS, was hot and he shouldn’t touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 51

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Barry · 19 August 2026, 09:00 ·Houston, United States

Mixed messages

Today, I learned that my wife lets our son play video games while I'm at work to "keep him out of her hair." We had agreed that he was forbidden from gaming until his grades came up, but apparently she can't be bothered to actually parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383 You deserved it 81

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Akron, United States

My life

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 786 You deserved it 4 209

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Anonymous · 16 August 2026, 22:00 ·United States

Living in perfect harmony

Today, after hearing them stomp around all summer, my upstairs neighbor’s obnoxiously loud kids finally started school. Now I get to hear them get up at 6:30am and stomp around while they get ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290 You deserved it 64

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Gone · 16 August 2026, 20:00 ·Richmond, United States

The golden child

Today, my wife changed her mind on us having kids, because her eight year-old son said he liked being an only child. She says that my devastated and angry reaction is incredibly unattractive and immature, and that I need to accept compromise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500 You deserved it 102

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Anonymous · 15 August 2026, 09:00 ·Carrollton, United States

Bad seed

Today, everyone says I'm being too hard on my son, who I disowned and went no contact with after he cleaned out all of my late wife's belongings without asking. I have nothing, literally nothing left of her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500 You deserved it 58

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MrsRODixon · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Pencoed, United Kingdom

Sneaky

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying." I get there and he's running around, playing, and admitted that he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 179 You deserved it 2 913

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Anonymous · 13 August 2026, 03:00 ·Harare, Zimbabwe

Peanut allergies

Today, I bought a pack of peanuts to share with my partner and his 16 ear-old daughter, whom I'd just been introduced to. I asked him if I could eat his peanuts as well, since he wasn't eating them and, because my greedy mouth was stuffed with my own peanuts, it came out as, "Can I eat your penis?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 You deserved it 405

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Anonymous · 12 August 2026, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States

Stuck

Today, my parents canceled our trip to Greece because my siblings were being brats. When I tried to point out that I wasn't doing anything, they just shrugged and said, "Sorry honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 70

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Courtney · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·United States

Kids…

Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 696 You deserved it 1 334

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Not a morning person

Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 182 You deserved it 330

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