Embarrassing

Happiest day of my life

By Stevey - 17/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, during a moment of silence at a wedding, my phone rang at full volume. My ringtone? The Jurassic Park theme. Everyone turned to stare as I fumbled desperately to shut it off. The bride spent the rest of the ceremony giving me the side-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 685

Pinhead

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 13:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I'm 35 years-old and I had to buy myself a hat from the kids section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 96

Lunch is on me

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, to eat healthy, I made myself a salad for lunch. While shaking the salad container, the lid popped off, sending lettuce, cucumbers and dressing all over my cubicle. My boss walked in just in time to see me wiping vinaigrette off of my keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 161

Overly polite in public

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was browsing the frozen section at the store when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. Thinking it was another customer, I said “Oh sorry, go ahead.” No one responded. I turned to see my own reflection in the freezer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 132

Law and order

By Karen - 15/08/2025 03:00

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 101

Are you OK my dude?

By Hell naw - 13/08/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I got into my car in the parking lot, or at least I thought I did. I sat down, buckled up, and only noticed something was off when a guy walked over from the shopping trolley carousel, opened the passenger door and said, “Can I help you?” Same car model, wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 130

Change of plans

By Somebody fucking kill me! - 12/08/2025 05:00 - Mexico

Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 112

She's lost control again

By Taylor - 11/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 160

Fitness check

By Christine - 11/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my first spin class. Trying my best, I hopped on the bike and started pedaling like I’d been doing it for years. The instructor came over, adjusted the seat, and as soon as she let go, I completely lost my balance and tipped over. The bike fell sideways, taking me and two water bottles with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 133

Packed in

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 344

Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 114

You're fit but don't you know it

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I was running at the gym, feeling like a fitness influencer. I increased the treadmill speed to “sprint” mode. My shoelace got caught in the belt, and I was launched backward into a rack of yoga mats, knocking them over like bowling pins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 342

How to make it awkward for everyone

By Anonymous - 09/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 454

Stolen valor

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 453

Hanging out

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 148

Nice try

By clumsy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 970

You deserved it 54 630

I know what I'm doing

By M…… - 06/08/2025 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 126

Sleeping beauty

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was in a movie theater trying to stay awake during a boring film that my girlfriend really wanted to see. Next thing I know, I’m snoring loudly. My girlfriend sharply nudged me awake, and I realized the people in the row in front of me were giggling at me like I was a hibernating cartoon bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 426

Nervous nelly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 99

You've got something…

By Chris - 04/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 408

TMI, dude!

By Gwen - 03/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, at a party, we played the game where the person next to you needs to say something nice about you. My neighbour didn't know me well so he just pointed out I nicely smell like mint. That's when my drunk husband exclaimed, "My gal loves eating my ass, so that's just her mouthwash you just smelled!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 136

Classic mistake

By 暂不提供 - 02/08/2025 21:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 104

Intense humming

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Houston

Today, while using a public bathroom, I was singing to myself because I thought I was alone and not in a rush. When I opened the door, three people were waiting in line. One of them rushed in behind me, another seemed really annoyed, and the third person said, "I love that song!", confirming that they heard everything FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 532

Drama farmer

By Anonymous - 01/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I stormed out of a restaurant after an argument with my boyfriend to make a dramatic exit. Instead of the front door, I marched into what turned out to be the kitchen. The entire restaurant heard me swear and then quietly shuffle back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 612

Another speech bites the dust

By Worst man - 01/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I gave a speech at my friend’s wedding. I spent weeks perfecting it, making sure it was funny but heartfelt. When I finished, I dropped the mic dramatically. It bounced off the table, hit the best man in the face, and the cable knocked his drink all over the bride’s dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 713

I hate these machines

By Mortified - 31/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 426

Risky move

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 834

Multitasking

By longday - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process, I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 841

You deserved it 6 866

Right on time

By Debz - 29/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was already late so I sprinted to catch the bus. Just as I jumped on, my left shoe flew off, and I practically tripped over my own feet, falling flat on my face in a bus full of strangers. The driver asked, "You OK Ma’am?" while stifling laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 112

Never felt more lonely

By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was in my local supermarket's frozen aisle and I started doing a little dance of joy because my favorite ice cream was on sale. I turned around to see my ex and his new girlfriend watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 247

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had to convince my nine year-old brother to stop using my biology textbook as a masturbatory aid so I could actually get some studying done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 550

You deserved it 1 985

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 500

You deserved it 6 634

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 021

You deserved it 1 235

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 802

You deserved it 30 952

Today, I have realised that since I get laid so infrequently, every time I have sex now, it kickstarts my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 228

You deserved it 330

Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 237