Olive · 22 June 2026, 22:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

Dress to impress

Today, it's my 23rd birthday. My family - parents, siblings, and two cousins - asked to visit to help me celebrate. I agreed and spent some time cleaning my place up some. The catch: I relaxed a bit and did it while nude. It felt so nice, I forgot I was nude, so when they came at noon… well, it wasn't the birthday suit I'd hoped they'd see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 499

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nooooo · 22 June 2026, 20:00 ·New York, United States

His loss

Today, a hot guy asked me to meet him at a barbecue restaurant. I reminded him that I was vegan. He replied, "Oh, my bad. Forget it then." and didn't respond to my desperate follow up texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145 You deserved it 620

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whytoday · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Just checking

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 164 You deserved it 45 553

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Fthisjob111 · 22 June 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Bad dads

Today, I was waitressing. Two of the patrons, who were fathers, insisted on having their food taken off the bill because it’s Father’s Day and “ChatGPT said” they can get free food. We refused and said there’s no such thing. When I collected the check, I saw they wrote “fat bitch” on the tip line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495 You deserved it 69

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Lisa · 22 June 2026, 12:00 ·Canada

For the full marathon, it's a cantaloupe

Today, after months of training, I ran my first half marathon. Everything was going according to plan until I crossed the finish line and raised my arms for the official photo. At that exact second, a volunteer handed me a banana, which smacked directly into my face. The event photographer captured every frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · 22 June 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Happy Father's Day

Today, my mom said I was not allowed to spend Father's Day with my dad. When I tried to point out that I'm 24 years-old and she couldn't stop me, she disabled my car. I don't trust rideshare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409 You deserved it 119

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chattyloz · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Stay classy

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 964 You deserved it 40 227

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Anonymous · 22 June 2026, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Some more news

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML

I agree, your life sucks 190 You deserved it 450

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emily · 22 June 2026, 00:00 ·Denver, United States

Is your dad called Jordan?

Today, my dad insists I have to deep clean my bathroom multiple times a day, because in his words: “Once a day just isn’t cutting it.” I have depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 You deserved it 105

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Candidate · 21 June 2026, 22:00 ·Australia

Why did I say that?

Today, after months of unemployment, I got an interview. It went great until the recruiter asked if I had questions. Trying to sound thoughtful, I asked, "What do employees dislike most about working here?" The recruiter laughed and said, "That's a unique way to phrase that." I spent the rest of the interview wondering why my brain chose violence at the worst possible moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300 You deserved it 168

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Anonymous · 21 June 2026, 20:00 ·Baton Rouge, United States

Love is in the air

Today, a first date had gone surprisingly well. We spent two hours talking, laughed at the same dumb jokes, and even agreed to meet again. Walking home, I texted my best friend, "I think I actually like this one." Unfortunately, I sent it to my date instead. His response was, "Good to know I'm 'this one.'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 114 You deserved it 417

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brenami · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Hey good lookin'

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 163 You deserved it 7 867

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Doug · 21 June 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Make a scene

Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 You deserved it 287

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Anonymous · 21 June 2026, 12:00 ·Rialto, United States

They're all out to get me

Today, we drove for four days across states. My dad refused to let us go into the amusement park or check into the hotel we'd traveled for. The park is now cashless and he swears that it’s a government conspiracy to monitor and control us. He made us sleep in the car before going home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 69

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Saddened · 21 June 2026, 09:00 ·Montreal, Canada

What's wrong with me?

Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 You deserved it 1 169

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PeepShow · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Heatwave

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 495 You deserved it 47 366

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ButWhy · 21 June 2026, 03:00 ·Berlin, Germany

Kinda weird

Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411 You deserved it 79

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Anonymous · 21 June 2026, 00:00 ·Spartanburg, United States

Grunt work

Today, my coworkers wouldn't help cover the front desk and help answer phones at work. They had agreed to do this with our three bosses in the room, after having a discussion about it and coming to an agreement to do this in two hour shifts. They are both older than me and have less work to do than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341 You deserved it 66

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Anonymous · 20 June 2026, 22:00 ·Reno, United States

Red tape

Today, after spending 40 minutes on the phone with an IRS agent to change my address, and after she asked me how to spell Reno, then she put Reno as a state. and Nevada as a city. She’s not able to help me because my address does not exist and now I have to send in the paper form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374 You deserved it 57

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Anonymous · 20 June 2026, 20:00 ·United States

In shape

Today, I did a new exercise where you lie flat on your stomach and lift your legs. Despite easily lifting my legs into the air from my back, the muscles needed to do it from the other position are so pathetically weak that I could barely lift my legs a tenth of an inch off the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212 You deserved it 159

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Cincinnati, United States

Dress code

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 665 You deserved it 13 530

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Ugh · 20 June 2026, 12:00 ·Montreal, Canada

Assumptions

Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 You deserved it 791

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Anonymous · 20 June 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Real?

Today, to my horror, I discovered I will owe child support for the kids my ex and I adopted together since she couldn't have any. I've met someone else and I'm planning on having real kids with her, but these payments will destroy everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 You deserved it 1 410

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ohdang · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Walk, don't run

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 643 You deserved it 12 998

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Anonymous · 20 June 2026, 03:00 ·Canada

Broken haircut

Today, as a broke 19-year-old college student, I thought I could save money by cutting my own hair before a presentation. I did one side fine, got distracted and somehow made the other side two inches shorter. I spent the whole class angling my head like I had a neck injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 You deserved it 361

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Mom of the day · 20 June 2026, 00:00 ·United States

That's the spirit

Today, I'd promised my daughter I’d make her costume for School Spirit Day, so I'd stayed up late hot-gluing fabric, only to now notice that I’d attached the sleeves upside down. She wore it anyway because there was no time to fix it, and I spent the day hoping no other parent would ask where I got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258 You deserved it 105

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So tired · 19 June 2026, 22:00 ·Seattle, United States

I'm so tired

Today, I worked a night shift at the hospital so long that I started putting things in the wrong pockets. I realized at 4 a.m. that I had taken a patient’s pen, my own phone charger, and two packaged crackers home in my scrub top. I also left my badge in the fridge next to the milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332 You deserved it 99

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Anonymous · 19 June 2026, 20:00 ·Denver, United States

Puberty sucks

Today, and for the past week, I practiced my speech for the school debate team. Right as I started, my 14 year-old voice cracked so hard that the first sentence came out sounding like a startled goat. The judge tried not to laugh, but I spent the rest of the round fighting octave changes in my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379 You deserved it 55

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Mommy · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Well done sweetie

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 791 You deserved it 3 741

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Anonymous · 19 June 2026, 15:00 ·United States

No Bob Ross

Today, I joined a beginners' painting class to finally try a new hobby. I was doing fine until I went to rinse my brush, dunked my entire hand into a cup of blue paint water, then spent the rest of class with one blue hand and a painting that looked like a potato in a storm. The instructor said it had “character,” which I assume was out of sympathy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 You deserved it 94

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