NotInMyClick · 2 May 2024, 09:00 ·Glide, United States

The real housewives of FML

Today, a girl I despise from our group of best girlfriends, who just moved in with another, has showed her true colors. I smelled her bipolar disorder in our group interactions and took a step back, but was afraid to say something to the two other girls like, hey, she's unstable. Now she thinks she's in the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 You deserved it 641

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Anonymous · 2 May 2024, 06:00 ·United States

That's so sick!

Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711 You deserved it 113

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Big_gulps_huh · This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff ·Minneapolis, United States

Shy guy

Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 936 You deserved it 554

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Anonymous · 2 May 2024, 00:00 ·United States

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392 You deserved it 167

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Anonymous · 1 May 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Gummied up

Today, I ate one Benefiber gummy and spent half the day and good chunk of the night in misery with an upset stomach, where it felt like a lump was in it, as well as aggressive and painful gas, and painful diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357 You deserved it 119

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Anonymous · 1 May 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom

Typical family

Today, I'd always wanted a baby girl, so much so I wound up with four boys before deciding I couldn’t handle another pregnancy. The eldest two hate their dad, the youngest two hate me, and all four of them hate each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235 You deserved it 708

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·East Carondelet, United States

I quit!

Today, I'm babysitting kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4 a.m. and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 008 You deserved it 2 249

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Anonymous · 1 May 2024, 16:00 ·Lenoir, United States

It's complicated

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend, whom I'd been in love with since I was 19, wants to be back with his baby momma. His dad, after finding out that he has cancer, offered to marry me and adopt my kids to collect his SSI checks in case he dies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461 You deserved it 148

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._. · 1 May 2024, 14:00 ·United States

The more the merrier

Today, I found out my niece will born in about two weeks. That's nice, right? It is… except for the fact that there will now be FIVE people in my family with a birthday in May. As if trying to plan for four birthday parties in three weeks wasn't bad enough. Why not five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 487

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Ugly · 1 May 2024, 12:00 ·United States

No rizz whatsoever

Today, right now, I can say one thing for certain: Despite not knowing exactly what it means to be conventionally attractive, I still know for a fact I'm the exact opposite of that. People have told me that I look homeless. I shudder to think of how I'd look if I were actually homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382 You deserved it 137

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Anonymous · 1 May 2024, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States

The struggle is real

Today, my parents are upset that I never ask them for help with my homework and struggle with it myself. They won't accept the answer that whenever I do, they're always yelling at me and putting me down. Dad in particular can't get through one assignment without becoming a screaming tyrant about my handwriting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529 You deserved it 103

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Anonymous · 1 May 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Be unprepared

Today, we were supposed to go on a weekend camping trip with our Scout troop. On Thursday I wasn't feeling well but I made it through school okay. Dad forced me to pack up immediately after school, even though I felt worse. I threw up on the porch on the way out. Dad thinks I did this on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460 You deserved it 80

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engineerdude91 · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Happy International Workers' Day!

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 798 You deserved it 4 367

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not as jacked · 1 May 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Jaded

Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539 You deserved it 145

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Anonymous · 30 April 2024, 22:00 ·Normanton, United Kingdom

Countdown

Today, my wife was screaming at our son over his maths homework, so I poked my nose in to help calm them down. My wife was not happy when I pointed out that most of her calculations and answers were wrong, whereas our son got most of his right. I’m now in the doghouse because my wife can’t count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696 You deserved it 107

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Anonymous · 30 April 2024, 20:00 ·United States

You need more fiber

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 119

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firelava · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Grand Prairie, United States

Computer says no

Today, I waited two hours in line at college to select my classes. I finally got to the desk, only to be told I have to apply online before I can show up in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 773 You deserved it 9 987

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matt · 30 April 2024, 16:00 ·United States

The middleman

Today, I realized that every girl who has approached me or I approached me since high school always ended up trying to get close to me to get close to any one of my friends. Every time I think we’re hitting it off, they ask. When I refuse to set them up, they get angry, and tell others I'm a creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455 You deserved it 120

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OnTheReceivingEnd · 30 April 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Commitment

Today, while feeling really ill, I pumped myself full of caffeine so that I'd be ready to run an online gaming session. I managed to maintain until I realized one of the players hadn't responded for two hours. She went AFK without telling anyone, holding up progress, for the 4th time. I don't know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242 You deserved it 428

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Anonymous · 30 April 2024, 12:00 ·Belgrade, Serbia

Celebrate!

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My brother's girlfriend gave me a few snide comments about the choice of music and my dress. Then she teased me about not having a boyfriend. By the way, I haven't had a relationship in five years because I'm still traumatized from past domestic abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566 You deserved it 96

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shawn · 30 April 2024, 09:00 ·Las Vegas, United States

Easy mark

Today, I learned that the cancer patient in a foreign country I sent money too from an ad on TikTok was a deepfake AI used by scammers. I thought I'd actually helped someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 You deserved it 1 039

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indiemusicnerdgirl · 30 April 2024, 06:00 ·Dayton, United States

Life comes at you fast

Today, my grandma died. I was very very close to her, but now my kids are grieving the loss of their great grandma. Between my 7 year-old getting extremely mad, my 5 year-old being super whiny/needy, I'm getting no sleep as my 3 year-old is almost constantly having nightmares. I've yet to get my time to grieve and I'm tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571 You deserved it 133

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff

Skids

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry… The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 779 You deserved it 55 381

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Anonymous · 30 April 2024, 00:00 ·United States

i'm not paid enough for this shit (and piss)

Today, at work, an old lady dropped her lipstick into the ladies' room toilet, which is out of order and won't flush. I had to reach in and pull it out amid human waste. She thanked me, then uncapped it, and put some on her lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600 You deserved it 94

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Anonymous · 29 April 2024, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

It was fun while it lasted

Today, I found out that my toxic mother-in-law's retirement plans include moving in with us when she gets old. The death glares I’m getting from my wife right now are so worth the satisfaction I got from telling that evil old bat I’d burn the house down first before I let her move into it with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702 You deserved it 114

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Triumvirate · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

One stop cop shop

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 796 You deserved it 42 728

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tod · 29 April 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Such a pity

Today, I’ve never been in a relationship during which I wasn’t cheated on. Not that I seek the wrong kind of partner, I usually end up finding out, catching me by surprise. Mentally stable women don’t think I exist. Most of the sane girls I have known have unfollowed me since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324 You deserved it 233

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Anonymous · 29 April 2024, 14:00 ·DeWitt, United States

Me, myself, and I

Today, I was tempted into clicking a shady link with the promise of free MP3s of De La Soul’s first four albums, with all the original samples. Long story short, I had to do a system restore on my laptop. Now it won’t play audio files for some inexplicable reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 You deserved it 805

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;-; · 29 April 2024, 12:00 ·United States

i'm still a human being

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674 You deserved it 125

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Anonymous · 29 April 2024, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

High performance, high risk quipping

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147 You deserved it 847

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