All the FMLs

Where is it?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my brother is a brain-dead moron, he let my ex into my house with his spare key so she could “just grab something.” I am now obsessively checking my entire house because last time she got in she put itching powder on every fabric item. Clothes, beds, carpets, towels, pillows, and rugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 102

Welcome to capitalism

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, my mom’s rescue dog snarled at me in an especially nasty way when I passed his bed. Turns out he stole mom’s purse, opened the zipper, and was now lying in a cozy nest of paper money. He was not at all amused by us trying to steal his treasure back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 91

Bad trip

By Gaddz - 06/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went on a first time trip to Portland to meet some new friends I had planned to see months before for 4th of July weekend. The trip ended on the first day when I was goaded into taking drugs that made me alienate all of them. I was practically chased back to the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 642

Don't follow your dreams, kids!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Schelle

Today, after years of study and hard work, I fulfilled my long time dream of becoming a neurologist. Too bad it took me so long to figure out I absolutely hate working in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 138

Face your fears!

By birdsterrifyme - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 523

You deserved it 4 454

Body heat management

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, a bit of self-explanatory wisdom: When it’s 35°C out and you need a hot water bottle for your lower half, while needing a fan for your upper half, then something in your body’s self-regulatory system does not work as it should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 93

Anti-advertisement

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 12:00 - Iran - Bushehr

Today, I was preparing to migrate the bookmarks from Edge to Brave, but during my migration process, four bookmark folders and some pages suddenly disappeared for some unknown reason. Those were saved a year ago, and they’re very important to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 136

His little lipstick

By poopface82 - 06/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after three solid weeks of having my kids. After I got home, my dog decided to get intimate with his stuffed animal toy. I now know what my dog’s dong looks like, and that he’s gotten more action in the last two months than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 232

Hell no!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 803

You deserved it 3 396

Hang in there

By Suligi - 06/07/2025 03:00 - Philippines

Today, I feel like a failure. I've lost my will, again, because of the fear that it might happen again, and things might not get better. But I'll still try and I hope (please Lord) things will go positively. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 131

One step at a time

By shengming - 05/07/2025 22:00 - China

Today, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Although I am very happy in a sense and feel that there is finally an explanation for the past, this issue is not conducive to my adjustment to society. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 101

Freakout

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned my wife has an extra level of anger. First is sarcasm, then yelling, then the silent treatment, it’s been that way for our whole marriage. Turns out the level above that is hurling a sledgehammer at me. She still won’t tell me what I did to surpass the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 128

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 1 155

Lost it

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to an escape room on a date. I was convinced I’d be the puzzle-solving hero, so I sprinted ahead… straight into a low-hanging laser sensor that set off alarms and locked every door. We had to be rescued by staff, and my date still hasn’t talked to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 687

Sharing my journey

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 144

Good news

By poormom - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 450

You deserved it 29 147

Hiding

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I learned just how disgusted I am by my own body, when I was debating whether or not I should wear a baggy hoodie in 92 degree Fahrenheit weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 168

Smooth moves

By Clumsy - 05/07/2025 00:00 - France - Paris

Today, I went to my usual cafe and ordered a caramel latte. As I handed back my empty cup, I gestured to compliment the barista… and knocked over a perfectly balanced tray of macarons. They scattered across the counter and floor like colorful grenades, and I spent the next 10 minutes on my hands and knees scooping pastry shells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 205

Workout

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, my fitness tracker congratulated me on reaching 10,000 steps. Feeling slightly proud of myself for sticking to my health goals, I went to bed early, only to find out it was counting the steps I took pacing around, trying to find my lost keys for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 311

All alone

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I have no friends because I have severe anxiety and severe social anxiety. I thought I had family but as it turns out, my family is trying to get rid of me by sending me away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 133

Please don't do this

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 582

You deserved it 6 956

Happy 4th of July

By Bacon0426 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Skaneateles

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 098

You deserved it 1 217

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 642

Make your mind up!

By EpicOracle - 04/07/2025 12:00 - Nigeria

Today, my ex, who has been asking me to get back with her, told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me when I asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 305

The hero we need

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I saw someone get out of a car without putting it in park. I sprinted over and jumped in, trying to stop the car before it went down an incline. I didn't make it. I now have a dozen broken bones, need surgery, and was just informed I'm being held responsible for the wreck, since I was in it last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 467

It like to move it move it

By Almost_Homeless - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - London

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 3 475

Kinda ****** up

By me - 04/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, after presenting my husband with a more than fair request to pay me an hourly wage for being a stay-at-home mom, he laughed his ass off and told me if I want money so badly, I could get a job. He'd rather strangers in daycare raise our babies than pay me what I'm worth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 861

Stop!

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to take a nice picture of my dad but he was just doing stupid-looking poses, so I got mad and told him to "stop acting like a prostitute" without knowing what that even means. Keep in mind, this was also in front of my mum and oldest sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 681

Thanks, Keir

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a letter informing me that my husband is considered fit to work and will be receiving reduced benefits. He was rushed to hospital yesterday and has a tube in his throat temporarily breathing for him. I’m sure a nice desk job will suit him just fine then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 106

Enjoy what you enjoy

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 609

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The Top

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 948

You deserved it 2 375

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped two of the cushions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 628

You deserved it 9 701

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as "bored" the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 680

You deserved it 3 141

Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 505

You deserved it 4 980

Today, I tried to have a serious talk with my sister about how she feeds her kids. The 5-year-old is 75 lbs and the 7-year-old is nearing 100. She scoffed and said, “What do you know? You can’t even have kids!” No, I can’t have kids, but I am in school to become a pediatrician. Pretty sure I’m right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 725

You deserved it 284

Today, my boyfriend is always telling me I haven’t met his real mother yet, even though I’ve known her a year. However, when I happened to disagree with her today, she started screaming and hitting like a psycho. He had to wrestle her out the door. I get it now; I’ve now met his “real” mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 146