whiskeyandrum

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Whiskeyandrum's favorite FMLs

By CK95 - 01/01/2015 23:02 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

agreeclassic 28 848

vote type 1 8 061

By AOart1st - 21/11/2014 03:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

agreeclassic 36 229

vote type 1 17 715

By notsofriendly - 06/11/2014 20:15 - United States - Austin

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

agreeclassic 38 807

vote type 1 7 840

By chlorobitch551 - 05/11/2014 16:54 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

agreeclassic 29 926

vote type 1 2 898

By sayhey22 - 09/01/2015 15:33 - United States - Sullivan

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

agreeclassic 28 152

vote type 1 4 475

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sayhey22 19

Saturday 10 January 2015 0:52

It almost sounds like a broken fire alarm. It's a sketchy sound haha. I've progressed to just jumping when it happens