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Notfat14's favorite FMLs

MDoremis tells us more.

Thanks for all the well wishes and advice! I got some X-rays done and thankfully nothing was fractured or broken (and the screws from a previous break did not get wrenched loose in the fall)! I've been lucky enough to be assigned to completing the tasks, favors and whatnot, where I can prop my foot up and keep ice on it. I've also purchased a nice pair of flats, because there is no way I'm falling and breaking myself day of the wedding. As for a response from the bride, she pretty much told me it took a lot longer to fall than she thought it would (I'm super, super clumsy), and to keep off my feet so I can still be in the wedding without hurting myself again.

Mr_snuggels tells us more.

Hello, OP here. I've notice quite a few comments similar to this. So, I'll set the record straight on why my cat is "bigger", instead of assuming I'm a bad "cat parent". My cat has a metabolism disorder... Which means he doesn't have the same working digestive system as a regular cat. Which was caused by genetics from his mother, who was also an obese cat that also had a metabolism disorder as well. He was always a bigger cat. But now as he's getting older I've noticed his size increasing. I have talked to the vet about this. Since, Micky (my cat) is in good health, she just suggested to slowly make my indoor cat an outdoor cat, to try to make Micky more active in his daily routine, we also made changes into his diet. Every Time I let Micky outside I watch him, since he is not originally an outdoor cat. Therefore, it was a coincidence that Micky was feeling very adventurous as was trying to climb the fence, pooped himself, and fell in it. I agree, fuck the cats life... But, guess who had to clean the mess?

JenniferMay tells us more.

OP here... I can't believe this got published. After I posted it I realised it was kinda more 'fuck the pigeons life' well, not so much, since it was dead. Basically I was on reception that day and I can see through the front door's window into the car park so I do tend to gaze out of it a lot. I noticed the dead pigeon on my way in but I was already running late so I didn't have time to pick it up or bury it. I promised myself I'd get it at the end of the day if it was still there... well as you can imagine, it wasn't :( About 11am I saw this car pull into the car park. At first it went right around it, but a few minutes later I saw it reversing. Then one person got out of the car, went behind it and looked like she was signalling to the driver where to drive. I couldn't look as the car went over, I swore I could hear the cracks from where I was, it was awful. The driver then drove off of it and parked on the curb. I was so shocked i was just staring wide-mouthed as the driver got out with a huge camera bag and tripod. They then actually picked the main body of it up and put it in their car. It was all over in about 10 minutes, honestly the most disturbing thing I think I've ever witnessed. Also, I'm loving all the bird puns. I guess that couple made a right 'tit' of themselves, eh? :P