austinD

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Austind's favorite FMLs

Distance makes the heart…

By unknown - 27/02/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

agreeclassic 49 464

vote type 1 2 981

Dick move

By facepalm - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

agreeclassic 31 832

vote type 1 4 545

Caught red-knobbed

By Anonymous - 27/01/2010 02:28 - France

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

agreeclassic 14 859

vote type 1 30 831

By mark - 05/03/2012 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

agreeclassic 10 220

vote type 1 29 186

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 01:31 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

agreeclassic 31 897

vote type 1 7 661