Miss Window Rock, USA 31 years-old
Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
Today, my boyfriend doesn't know if he should break up with me because he loves me too much, or to stay with me and make me suffer. I have no clue as to what's going on in his head. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML
Today, my girlfriend said to me, "You know, you only have to wash 3 times a week to be clean." FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, my boyfriend who has just returned from his 3 month placement abroad cancelled our date. Why? Because there was a match England vs Germany. A friendly match. FML
Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the movies. She replies, "Sorry I have to do stuff with my parents" Her mum calls and by mistake my girlfriend pressed loud speaker, the first thing her mum said was "Be back at 11". FML
Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML
Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, and for the last two weeks, I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML
Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML
Today, I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend, who is going out with someone else now. At least I now know that he's gay. FML
Today, on her Facebook profile, my ex erased all the pictures where we were together, added her new boyfriend to her friends, and changed her status to, "I'm so happy". FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML
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