The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month

The top of the year

Mix and match

By Nicky - 10/02/2026 09:00

Today, I started to paint the top of a piece of furniture. My husband had painted the sides a few months ago. I sanded/prepped. He went to buy the paint he had used. I was half done when I stepped back and saw that the colors didn't match. He forgot what he used, so he bought whatever, and "thought it would be OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 93

Damn, girl!

By just lemme smash - 12/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 91

That was quick

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 22:00

Today, my ex started dating the girl he kept telling me not to worry about. We broke up three hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 68

Extra layers

By wizard - 22/02/2026 22:00

Today, I've now lost two hundred pounds and learned that I actually do have a pretty decently-sized dick, it's just been buried under fat for most of my life. Too bad I'm 42 and nobody wants a damn thing to do with a 42 year-old virgin, unless you want to quote a stale Steve Carell movie and laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 99

Toxic

By Anonymous - 26/02/2026 12:00

Today, my wife is now so into her toxic feminist rubbish that she tried to convince me our son uses weaponised incompetence against her. Um, he’s 4, there’s nothing weaponised about his incompetence, he just doesn’t know how to do a lot of things properly, because he’s 4 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 90

Valid concerns

By Gutted - 02/03/2026 00:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted he didn't want to marry me, not because he doesn't want to spend his life with me, but because he'd seen two friends get ruined by divorce settlements, and he "doesn't want my hooks in him." I love him with all my heart and would never dream of pulling a marriage con. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 116

Leaky

By Anonymous - 03/03/2026 20:00

Today, I decided I was tired of being fat so I started GLP-1. Today I also learned it can cause intractable diarrhea. Today I shit in an emesis bag in my car in a line at my kids' school, so now I’m fat and a shitty mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 186

Dealbreaker

By Megs - 05/03/2026 15:00

Today, I'm preparing to go through my second divorce, all because I don't want kids. Both of them agreed to no kids when we were dating, then changed their minds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 104

Common area

By Anonymous - 07/03/2026 09:00

Today, I explained to my new neighbors that my kids will continue to use the pool in the backyard as they have for years. The neighbor immediately said my kids are not welcome in her yard and she is building a fence. I don’t know how to explain to my sweet babies they no longer have their pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 1 730

A bit much

By Jfc son - 09/03/2026 03:00

Today, my son was getting ready for a first date. I asked him what he was doing, and he revealed he'd saved his money and bought her a GOLD NECKLACE to show his love. I facepalmed so hard I nearly gave myself a concussion, then told him to put that away until their first anniversary or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 113

This is going to get messy

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 22:00

Today, my sister who I'm being a surrogate for told me that she changed her mind and doesn't want kids anymore. It's way too late for me to have an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 103

Desperate

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 12:00

Today, my ex-wife announced that she's taking me to court for child support. Her kids were just my stepkids and we weren't even married a year, but she apparently has a pretty good lawyer on her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 78

Snob

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 00:00

Today, I overheard my boyfriend refer to me as a “pretty but dumb chick” because I like horror movies and comedies over his boring pseudo intellectual dramas. I literally have two degrees and I'm working on a third, while he has neither, yet he thinks he’s smarter than me because of movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 143

Waste not, want not

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 15:00

Today, my boyfriend sent me a long text breaking up with me and calling me "selfish", all because I fed my dog half of the roast he made us for dinner. He knows damn well I feed her a raw diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 836

Bide your time

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 09:00

Today, I'm being forced to go back to my parents', who kicked me out because they thought I was gay. I'm not. There was a misunderstanding. I don't want to go back to them because they've shown me what kind of people they are, even if I'm straight, but the police and Social Services are making me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 106

No smoke, no fire

By Anonymous - 25/03/2026 03:00

Today, a misunderstanding led to me falsely accusing my husband of cheating. We cleared it up and he forgave me and everything, but my parents are still convinced that he cheated, and won't believe me when I say he wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 509

Great start to the day

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 12:00

Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 74

Don't blame me!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 13:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 49

Close call

By NotKarenTrustMe - 19/04/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I called the Vietnamese teacher at my son's kindergarten by my Chinese colleague's name. Luckily, she didn't catch it. I'm not a racist, I was just tired after a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 55

Names and faces

By Steve Froemming - 20/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I hate when I go out and I forget peoples' names; even though they know me and I know them, I forgot their name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 91

Milestone

By Falling off the wagon - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending one year sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 886

You deserved it 3 650

The coast is clear

By Anonymous - 29/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I went to a really hot chick I’ve known for years's house, because she said her soon to be ex-husband had gone on a business trip for work. While I was sitting in the house with a ton of cologne on and a fresh shave, the husband walked in, looked at me, and said, "What’s up?" Guess I'm not getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 616

Useless

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 07:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my place of work was robbed. When expressing worry that the thieves would return, the cops told us, and I quote, "If they come back and attack you, just give us a call back." Fucking stellar, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 95

Right place…

By Not Her, sorry - 03/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was walking through my local park when I noticed a guy getting down on one knee with a ring box in hand. As I got closer, he looked at me, got a horrified expression on his face, and shouted, “Oh no, wrong woman!” He then awkwardly stood up, put the ring back in his pocket, and scuttled away. That's probably the closest I'll ever get to a proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 146

Bob the builder

By Greg - 06/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my ex said that the reason we didn't work out was because I wasn't handy around the house. I'm quite capable of basic home repairs. I'm not capable when she's hovering over me, hyperventilating, and screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" every time I reach for a tool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 77

Impressed indeed

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 12:00 - Ireland

Today, I joined a dance class to impress my girlfriend. Halfway through, I realized I had two left feet. The instructor asked me to demonstrate a simple move, and instead I tripped on the mat, fell into another dancer, and took her down with me. I’ve been banned from all future classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 128

Daily struggle

By Anonyme - 21/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps again. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndromes and don't metabolize protein properly, which led to a massive protein deficiency after losing 6lb in a week from a medical emergency. I just did two rounds of physical therapy a year ago and lost all of the muscle. I'm tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 77

Meritocracy, huh?

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my dad got mad at me for not believing him when he kept repeating that our dear leader was appointing Judge Judy to the government. I then found out he wasn't far off, so I don't know which is worse, that he was technically correct about some TV judge, or that the actual "judge" is even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 193

A for Effort, but…

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to balloons, streamers, and my roommates yelling “SURPRISE!” Unfortunately, they got the wrong day. My birthday is next week, and now I'll probably have to pretend to be surprised again in seven days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 99

Health kick

By What am I supposed to do? - 31/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 169

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Intimacy NSFW Friends Love Awkward Cooking Family Miscellaneous Embarrassing Depression Mental health School Education Customers Work Parenting Kids Plumbing Animals Coworkers Relatable Birthday Annoying Ragebait Racism My ex Teenagers Parents Technology

The Top

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 425

You deserved it 2 810

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 324

You deserved it 4 802

Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 237

You deserved it 3 925

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 728

You deserved it 63 687

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 485

You deserved it 70 394

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 317

You deserved it 10 885