The Top

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Winner winner, chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 09:00

Today, I wrecked my car on the way to work, all because I could get free food from a restaurant for my team winning a game. My husband suggested it. Now I’m without a car, with massive hospital bills, all for the most expensive fast food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 511

Bad guy

By not the bad guy - 25/11/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, my ex is bad-mouthing me, saying I dumped her because she got fat. That’s not true. I left because she completely gave up on life, no matter how much I tried to help. Not only did I get her gym membership, I even paid out of pocket for a mental health professional. That’s not cheap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 417

Tantrum

By Gloria - 25/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 223

The first step is the hardest

By Jeff just jeff - 12/01/2026 12:00

Today, I went to the gym after months of procrastinating. I walked straight into the glass wall next to the entrance instead of the door. A guy lifting near the front desk winced in sympathy. I still worked out, but I could see my face slowly swelling in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 138

Quality time

By Fourth, EWWW!!! - 16/01/2026 22:00

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted him to watch The Handmaid's Tale with me. He snorted and said, "Nah, I'd rather not watch your rape fantasy show." First of all, ew. Second of all, how is this show a fantasy? It's horrifying. Third of all, EW! FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 413

Your name's not down, you're not coming in

By LieutenantDimwit - 12/12/2021 08:01 - Jordan

Today, after I was invited to a party a few days ago, I was removed from the group as the “maximum was 35”, but the host promised me to add me back if there was space left. I was just informed by my other friend that there’s now 60 people in the group, and that the host simply didn’t want me to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 127

Shitshow

By Cassy - 14/02/2023 06:00 - Australia - Rockingham

Today, my 4 year-old son got a hole in his head from doing a twirl jump off bricks out the back. After being in hospital for 8 hours, my car battery was flat from me leaving the lights on. My husband went to get a new battery and lost his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 142

Leaky ballon knot

By Kelly - 21/01/2026 03:00

Today, as usual I am allergic to onions (I fart A LOT if I eat any). It seems there were some in my breakfast sausage meal as I spent the day having major diarrhea; I'm shitting once an hour. That would be okay if I'd stayed home, but my sister asked me to pick her up at school. Guess who shit herself while driving… FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 112

I'm tellin' y'all, it's a sabotage

By Anonymous - 16/02/2023 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I found out that my best friend of 10 years has been sabotaging every relationship or situationship that I’ve had for these past 10 years. No wonder I’ve been single for the majority of that time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 131

Also great baby name suggestions

By unloved - 22/01/2026 22:00

Today, my boyfriend has trained my three cats to respond to "Fart Cat", "Little Shit", and "Lumpy Butt" as well as their actual names. I'd be less annoyed if all three didn't adore him and sit on his lap every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 114

Adulting

By Laurenb - 06/07/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I was teaching a class when a kid asked me why grown-ups needed to drink coffee. Before I could answer, another kid chimed in, "Because adults are boring and tired all the time." I laughed and said that sometimes adults need a little extra energy. One kid raised his hand to ask, "Is that why you're so grumpy every morning?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 221

ESL FML

By Anonymous - 27/01/2026 09:00

Today, I’m a recent immigrant and finally felt confident enough to make a joke at work in my second language. During a meeting, I meant to say, “This deadline is tight,” but I said, “This deadline is aggressive.” The room went silent. My manager slowly replied, “The deadline is not mad at you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 110

Words having meaning

By Consentmattersiguess - 28/01/2026 09:00

Today, I went to a party where a girl I like was there. I wanted to dance with her. She rebuffed me and said, “Consent matters.” Later on, I saw her grinding with another guy she'd just met. So apparently “consent matters” with me, a friend of two years, but not for a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 769

Unstable

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 20:00

Today, it was my first day out of hospital and being able to walk outside. I went to a shop and an old lady backed up into me and elbowed the exact stop on my back the pain starts from. I hit the floor like a ton of bricks and had to go back to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 65

Who, me?

By Drive - 02/02/2026 09:00

Today, I waved at someone I thought was waving at me in my delivery truck. They weren’t. They were stretching. I still finished the wave and gave a thumbs-up because quitting felt worse. We locked eyes. I have to deliver to the same building again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 206

Never question upper management!

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I told my supervisor that I would have appreciated more oversight when running an advanced protocol for the first time recently. I'm now doing remedial basic training, for reduced pay and benefits, and my probationary status is "extended indefinitely." FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 133

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 762

Let it out

By Depressed af - 06/02/2026 09:00

Today, I'd built up the courage to talk to my doctor about anxiety, even rehearsing what to say. When she asked, “So what brings you in today?” I immediately burst into tears, said, “I don’t know,” then apologized for crying. She handed me tissues and said, “This happens a lot,” which somehow made me cry harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 105

Do not feed the workers

By Kellz - 20/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 438

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 02/03/2023 14:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a famous celebrity, but I accidentally hit the video record button and recorded myself walking away from them instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 788

No sleep til colon!

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Duluth

Today, after I lost my job because my position was eliminated last Friday, I'm in such a state of fear about losing my home, and having to re-home my animals (who are my children) that I haven't been able to sleep most of the week. My only hope for rest comes Monday, when I have my first colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 156

The spice of life

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 03:00

Today, my girlfriend invited me over to her family’s house for dinner. Every dish was packed with onion, garlic, pepper, and some spices I couldn’t even identify. I couldn’t actually taste the meat or the side dishes. All the nuance had been obliterated. I think they might not have taste buds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 344

A bit late for that

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my only chance of being promoted was if I moved to a bigger city… twenty years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 127

Love hearts, love hurts

By Suzyy - 14/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is traveling to his terminally ill grandmother's for Valentine's Day weekend. He said he "doesn't know if she'll pass soon; gotta visit her just in case." He gave me a box of chocolate-coated strawberries to make up for it. I'm allergic to strawberries, and he has known this for the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 131

Sinking pirate ship

By Rachel - 17/02/2026 20:00

Today, I wanted to stream my favourite show illegally, but it turns out the website got shut down and anyone affiliated would face fines. It's a bit of a shame because I had one episode left in the last season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 280

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 03:00 - Israel - Haifa

Today, a co-worker at the restaurant I work decided it'd be a good idea to kiss my neck while giving me a hug. After I told him the kiss was too much, he wouldn't leave me alone or let me work in peace. I had to ask my sup to kick him out, all the while the event triggered my PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 138

Extra layers

By wizard - 22/02/2026 22:00

Today, I've now lost two hundred pounds and learned that I actually do have a pretty decently-sized dick, it's just been buried under fat for most of my life. Too bad I'm 42 and nobody wants a damn thing to do with a 42 year-old virgin, unless you want to quote a stale Steve Carell movie and laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 109

Can't buy me love

By Anonymous - 13/12/2021 16:59 - United States - Providence

Today, I bumped into a guy I've had a crush on for a long time now. I lied about not having time to go on a trip, I just don't make enough money to do so. He then went on for 30 minutes about his trip to Italy with all his friends. I can't and will never be able to afford something like that. Clearly out of my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 207

The grind never ends

By Heather - 02/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my "self-schedule" job changed my schedule so I work every Wednesday. My boyfriend lives 3 hours away and this is the only day he has off from his jobs. Also, my previously approved PTO for his birthday, which I spent $1k non-refundable on, was cancelled. So now I'm out the money because I have to work or be fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 104

By rowanjusmc - 26/10/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 108

You deserved it 5 147

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The Top

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 269

You deserved it 6 086

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 037

You deserved it 29 343

Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 395

You deserved it 6 622

Today, I asked the girl who has a crush on me if she was autistic. She replied without hesitation, "I can be whatever you want me to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 1 116

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 317

Today, my husband is furious with me for hurting his daughter’s feelings. Neither he nor his ex make her shower and she smells disgusting! It’s nearly impossible to even sit in the same room with her, as her odor changes the smell of the entire space. All I did was suggest a bath and she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 121